Monday, December 24, 2012

Because Christmas is Around the Corner: On Jingle Bells and Crazy Writing


Writer’s Note: The challenge is to write a 120-300 word essay in 180 minutes on a chosen topic. Minus this Writer’s Note, and a few other insertions I feel this article needs (such as explanations on WHY I agreed to writing this), I shall try and stay within the word-limit. May the muse have mercy on my soul and gag my brain’s steady flow of digressions.

 This essay is submitted to the Master of Atrocious Writing Homework (who was apparently born to make this person write about crucial topics in life), by his gullible self-proclaimed student, Janina Santos. I must take this opportunity to once again state how very evil you are. I hope you don’t torture your students the same way as you’re torturing me. Have fun, sir, and may we all be enlightened by the utter importance of the topic you chose that I dedicate my blossoming writing skills to.^_~

Writing time: 47 minutes               Word Count: 293


Jingle Bells: Epitomizing Christmas Spirit?

Let us, for one minute, forget the fact that Christmas is a religious holiday crafted by those who wish to overthrow the old Pagan religions hundreds of years ago.

Let us, instead, define Christmas with as little sarcasm as we could: a time for monito-monita, for getting righteously drunk at Christmas parties, for our 13th-month pay and bonus. Christmas is a time for ninongs and ninangs to hide from the world lest they be found by screaming godchildren asking for treats. For those of us with pure hearts, Christmas is a time for love and family, for friends, for giving and sharing blessings that we have received and worked our butts off for.

If we were to research the history of the song Jingle Bells, we would find that there is no subtlety in its symbolism. In fact, there is no symbolism at all - just a narrative with rhyme and melody. Basically, the song about a guy who has fun sledding during the winter, whose sled capsized, is possibly intoxicated, and who enjoys hanging out and picking up girls. The only element of Christmas that one can relate to the song is the presence of snow and the upbeat melody.[1]

So: does Jingle Bells represent the spirit and theme of Christmas?

Why hell not?

Of course, Christmas is really about giving and sharing and all those fluffy things that involve the hypothalamus, but Christmas also inspires fun and happiness, and we can never ever deprive people of these. If fun and happiness mean dating the girl that you like, or riding a sled and capsizing, or simply clapping to the beat of an infectious song that has been around for ages, then maybe that is Christmas.

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