10 Ignorant (and Usually Annoying) Things to Say about Rape and Rape Victims

Let’s get this out of the way first: Death threats can go to the comment section. Also, if you dislike reading extra stuff, then this post isn't for you. It's LONG, and I give extra stuff to read. 

Truth be told, I am sick and tired of people who spend time yapping about rape and rape victims without spending time knowing what rape and rape victims are about. In my years of perusing articles on rape and sexual abuse, I have seen so many people saying so many idiotic things, as if they understand what it is like to be in the receiving end of unwanted penetration. These comments are insensitive and hurtful. And above all, these comments are STUPID.

Here are some statements that really get my blood boiling.

1. “Why now? It’s been (insert number) of years!”

You know, coming out of the closer has never been easy. When LGBT comes out to tell the world that their sexual preferences are different from heterosexuals, they sometimes get acceptance. Sometimes, they get called devils by insane fundies and bigots as spawns of Satan and diseased animals and other such lovely, lovely descriptions.

Coming out as a rape victim, especially in a patriarchal and hypocritical society such as the Philippines (because, seriously, if you have half-naked men and women gracing huge billboards along EDSA and other major highways, your society is NOT conservative) is a challenge. Surprised? Sometimes, victims can receive sympathy and true support from beings of higher intellect. But they can also receive some pretty nasty shiz from beings of shizzy intellect. Unfortunately, to a rape victim, hearing (or reading) such insensitive and idiotic comments directed towards her increases guilt and self-shame. It makes her think that it is her fault, that she deserves it. It makes her think that she is a slut and that because of the rape she will never be loved and she has lost her value. EVEN IF THESE ARE NOT TRUE. It’s like she’s being raped again, this time by words of many faceless idiots who know nothing but open their mouths and spit venom.

So you see, admitting that you have been violated in the most intimate of ways is not a walk in the park.

Why now? Because the victim’s only just been able to gather the courage to say that she has been violated, despite the danger of being harassed by the idiots of the world.

She doesn’t deserve flak. She deserves applause.

     2. “Well, she was wearing too much make-up and too little clothing.”

Once in a while, a girl will want to have that come-hither look. Whether this is done through a sexy red pout or a dress that will highlight all her womanly curves depends on her sense of self expression. A girl would sometimes dress to impress potential partners, that is true (mostly we dress up because we like to feel pretty, though). Yes, a girl may want your attention, but how difficult it is to appreciate but not touch unless given leave?

Some people say that if men see something as enticing as a beautiful woman and that their natural instinct to procreate is activated, thus enticing women are at fault if they are raped. This is one of the most insulting things I’ve ever heard. Are these people saying that our men have no sense of self control? That saying a woman’s exposed legs or cleavage is more than enough to turn the supposedly stronger sex to savages? Where is the philosophy that humans are capable of moral decisions and intelligent thought? 

In the Steubenville Rape Case, a high school girl who was incapacitated by alcohol was publicly and repeatedly sexually assaulted and raped by two football players during a party. The incident was circulated in social media.

If we blame rape on what a woman wears or what make-up she opts to use, then we are effectively saying that our men are only as good as animals in heat.

Kawawa naman ang mga boys.

     3. “How can it be rape? She’s going out with him!”

Let’s look into how rape is committed under RA8353: 

Rape is committed:

      "1) By a man who shall have carnal knowledge of a woman under any of the following circumstances:

            "a) Through force, threat, or intimidation;

            

            "b) When the offended party is deprived of reason or otherwise unconscious;

            

            "c) By means of fraudulent machination or grave abuse of authority; and

            

          "d) When the offended party is under twelve (12) years of  age or is demented, even though none of the circumstances mentioned above be present.

     "2) By any person who, under any of the circumstances mentioned in paragraph 1 hereof, shall commit an act of  sexual assault by inserting his penis into another person's mouth or anal orifice, or any instrument or object, into the genital or anal orifice of another person."

Basically, rape is committed if penetration of any of the mentioned orifice by any instrument or body part occurs WITHOUT CONSENT. So it really doesn't matter if she's your wife, your girlfriend, some fubu who is bang on a semi-regular basis, or a supposed one night stand. If she can't or doesn't consent, that's rape.

Read up on date rape here and marital rape here.

      4. "That’s what you get for getting drunk."

     The victim blaming culture is strong in this one.

    The first thing that must be looked into is the subtle difference between "cause" and "risk". This must be discussed because subtleties are lost to most people, especially the stupid ones. Let us consult my old buddies Merriam and Webster:

   Risk: the possibility that something bad or unpleasant (such as an injury or a loss) will happen

    Cause :something or someone that produces an effect, result, or condition : something or someone that makes something happen or exist

     Studies have confirmed that exposing oneself to certain dangerous situations increases the likelihood of rape. Translation: RISK increases. These dangerous situations are include going alone to dark and dangerous places and getting drunk in dark, dangerous bars with dark, dangerous strangers. But these dark dangerous things do NOT cause rape.
    
     Rapists cause rape. 
    
    Besides, smoking also increases the risk for cancer. Do we tell smokers it's their fault that their cells suddenly decided to go on population explosion mode with immortality complex? Do we judge and shun them for smoking?

     Didn't think so.

     5. “Sex workers can’t be raped. They’re sex workers!”

     Unfortunately, those who belong in the Idiot Society believe that if a woman sells her body for sex, she can't say no to any other kind of sex. Going back to the definition of rape, we can see that as long as there is penetration of the oral, anal, or vaginal cavity WITHOUT CONSENT, it is rape. It doesn't matter who you are. Your identity or profession does not excuse the rape.
     
     Sex workers are more vulnerable to sex crimes than other population because the nature of their work leads others to discriminate against them. Those who have ultra-conservative (and hypocritical) ideologies see these men and women as dirty and low-class citizens. They are seen as people who need to be punished for immorality. This is why cases of abuse and sexual violence is rampant in the sex industry.

    Unfortunately, in an Idiot Society, women who refuse to abide by the Maria Clara, those who have gone through rape and sexual assault are almost always blamed for their actions. 

    Then again, if it didn't, it wouldn't be called "idiot"

     Read more on sex work and violence here.

     6. “Men can’t be raped.” 

     If he said no and was not in the right state to give consent, then he can be.

     7. After seeing Ellen Adarna’s workout video. “Sarap naman rape-in nyan!”
      
     Fact 1: Dude who said this was my former co-worker.
     Fact 2: Ellen Adarna is hot.
    Fact 3: Still, the dude who said it (a) scared the crap out of me and (b) almost made me punch him in the face. What, just cause the girl is hot and allegedly had a nip slip, you'd want to rape her?
     Fact 4: Some people will say I'm over-reacting and the dude was only joking. Which leads us to this meme:

 

     Let me tell you a little something about rape jokes: they are insensitive shiz that come out of people who blab before they think. They trivialize the issue and the experience of everyone who has gone through the attack. They are the kind of humor that has no place in a society that prides itself for being civilized.

     8. “Sana ma-rape ka.” (I hope you get raped.)
     
     This gets my blood boiling. I mean, sure, once in a while I ask bad things to happen to people who I think are arseholes. For instance, I do wish that Tanda, Pogi, and Sexy get kick out of the Senate. I wish Janet Lim Napoles to be thrown in a regular jail cell. I want corrupt officials to lose their investments made with the people's money.

     How does that differ from idiots who told Kat Alano that she should be raped when she spoke about the incident in the height of the Vhong-Deniece-Cedric hullaballoo?

    The difference is that  no body deserves to be raped. Even Tanda, Pogi, and Sexy who have apparently been f*cking with the people's money, and to wish for someone to undergo such attack is inhumane.

     9. “Get over it.”

    Shit happened alright. Being violated in the most primal of ways by an unknown assailant or, worse, a person one trusts does qualify as shit happening. But this is not something that victims just get over. It takes a lot of courage for victims to not just kill themselves in the aftermath of a rape. It takes courage to bring themselves away from the experience and see that there is a life to be lived after the attack.

     Victims don't just get over it. Saying so is undermining the strength it takes to live and trust again. Victims don't get over rape. They survive it.     

     10. "This is related to the Vhong-Deniece-Cedric issue again!”

Deep breathing exercise required before answering this one, or else I’ll suffer a coronary at 25 because this is so absolutely stupid.

Reality check, ladies and gentlemen: Not everyone’s lives revolve around scandals in Philippine showbiz. 


We have other things to fight for.

Last piece of advice to anyone who would be commenting on rape ever again:
 Either read up or shut up.

PRESS RELEASE: PHBS, Zoomanity Group to Host Free Health Bloggers Workshop

Janina: This is it, pancit! PHBS blogging workshop is this week and I am so excited! So much so that I have three consecutive sentences ending in exclamation points!

First, I would like to thank the wonderful people I am working with to make this event possible: Ate Grace Nicolas for hooking us up with our awesome partners;  Ate Jofti Villena for all your hard work in coordinating with our speakers; and my bhebhe Drei dela Cruz, for being the catalyst of this event, for helping us make the certificates and posters, for finding sponsors, and for being one of the best people I get to work with. Mahal ko kayo *Ms. Universe Wave*.

On with the press release!

To hone the skills of online influencers of health, the Philippine Health Bloggers Society has partnered with Zoomanity Group to hold its first ever workshop, Blogging for Health and Wellness. The free event will be held on May 3, from 7AM to 4PM. Health bloggers will be in touch with nature as they spend the day learning and relaxing in Paradizoo, Tagaytay City.

 “Social media and blogging are powerful platforms for advocating for health,” said PHBS president Janina Santos, who is also speaking at the workshop. “This initiative is truly a group effort of the Society. Our working group has been very passionate in putting this thing together. But of course, this would not have been possible without all wonderful people supporting our cause.”

Health bloggers are in for a treat as their transportation, venue, and food are shouldered by Zoomanity Group, while top brands in the business industry such as Elabram Systems Group, Gardenia Bread Philippines, Inc., Victoria Court, and GLI have also offered support. The event shall be covered by media partners FAME Publishing, Tribune Post, and Kipling Times.

Blogging for Health and Wellness also features speakers from the blogging and journalism industry who have years of experience and knowledge to share. Included in the roster of trainers is Ms. Inday Verona-Espina, Campaigns Director for the Philippines of Change.org, and Michaela Sarah De Leon of Health Beat Magazine. Joining them are marketing and brand specialist Engr. Grace Bondad Nicolas, nurse blogger and PHBS Founding Chairman Alvin Dakis, and PHBS President Janina Santos. The workshop will cover topics like starting a blog, making profit from one’s blog, creating good content, and, something every veteran and newbie blogger should know, the intricacies on online libel.

The Blogging for Health and Wellness workshop is one of the many activities the PHBS is planning to help build a community of online influencers who will advocate for health.

For more details, you may get in touch with Janina Santos.

Cell phone number: 09054167233

E-mail address: janina_santos54@yahoo.com

10 Things Never to Say to an RH Advocate

Warning 1: Anything you say can and will be used (against you) in my Codswallop.

Warning 2: If you dislike to be advised to read more, then better steer clear of this Codswallop, as  shall be putting in a lot of links for extra reading. I'm Hermione-ish that way. 

One of my madami-at-malanding selfies for the support of RH

I've been an outspoken advocate for the Reproductive Health Bill (now Law) since 2011. I've fought for it online and in the streets, like others of RH advocates. I've debated with Anti-RH people, converted a few of them, and continued to bust myths about the law until this day (although often I advice people to read so they can understand stuff for themselves). As such, I've heard almost everything - from the smartest arguments against the law, to the stupidest, flippant, most insignificant, stuff by religious fundies or people who open their mouths before actually having read ANYTHING about the law.

Thus, this list.

1. "The RH Law legalizes abortion."

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you Section 3 of RA10354 or the Reproductive Health Law. I think this is pretty darn clear. 

2. "Konti lang naman ang namamatay." - Nursing graduate from one of the top 4 universities, talking about maternal mortality rate. 

#slashwrist moment.

Let me give you numbers, kid. In 2009, 1,599 women died due to childbirth-related complications. That's 1,599 families who lost their  "ilaw ng tahana", countless children who have lost their mother, probably more than a thousand husbands who lost their wives. That's not just a number, kid. Those are people, who had lives. The number is less than 1% of the 100 million population we currently have, but to the people who love them, they could mean the world.

Now how would you feel if your mom died because you couldn't afford maternal care and I tell you, "Ok lang yan, isa lang naman siya e."

3. "Kung gusto nila magkant*t#n, e di gumastos sila! Hindi yung pera ng tax payer ang gagamitin nila pambili ng condom." 

This one, I often hear as an argument from a LOT of antis. News flash: the RH Law is not JUST about contraceptives and family planning (which involve natural family planning, by the way.). With all due respect to the sex-obsessed dudes out there, the RH Law is not just about kant*t#n. Here are the elements of the law you might have missed because you were too busy thinking we'd teach kids how to do the doggy. 

"The elements of reproductive health care include the following:

(1) Family planning information and services which shall include as a first priority making women of reproductive age fully aware of their respective cycles to make them aware of when fertilization is highly probable, as well as highly improbable;

(2) Maternal, infant and child health and nutrition, including breastfeeding;

(3) Proscription of abortion and management of abortion complications;

(4) Adolescent and youth reproductive health guidance and counseling;

(5) Prevention, treatment and management of reproductive tract infections (RTIs), HIV and AIDS and other sexually transmittable infections (STIs);

(6) Elimination of violence against women and children and other forms of sexual and gender-based violence;

(7) Education and counseling on sexuality and reproductive health;

(8) Treatment of breast and reproductive tract cancers and other gynecological conditions and disorders;

(9) Male responsibility and involvement and men’s reproductive health;

(10) Prevention, treatment and management of infertility and sexual dysfunction;

(11) Reproductive health education for the adolescents; and

(12) Mental health aspect of reproductive health care."

This is Section 4, by the way. As you can see, FP is just one of 12 elements of RH. What were you saying about RH = FP again?

4. "Condoms do not prevent HIV. Attitude can."

While it is true that having a safe attitude towards sexual practices, such as abstinence and monogamy, is quite helpful in preventing the spread of HIV, it is not the only way to do so. Anti-condom propaganda, which usually comes from fundies who can't be reminded that even Pope Benedict said condoms are the lesser evil, is being intellectually dishonest when proclaiming that condoms cannot prevent HIV.

Here is what the Center for Disease Control has to say: 

 "Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In addition, consistent and correct use of latex condoms reduces the risk of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including diseases transmitted by genital secretions, and to a lesser degree, genital ulcer diseases. Condom use may reduce the risk for genital human papillomavirus (HPV) infection and HPV-associated diseases, e.g., genital warts and cervical cancer."

Here's another: 

"Laboratory studies have demonstrated that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of HIV."

 I fucking love science. 

Here is Le Factsheet.

5. "The RH Law is just another venue for corruption." 

This common argument for those who oppose the use of taxes in ensuring that people are given reproductive health information and services. Here is the truth: there is no assurance that the money for the implementation of the RH Law will not be Napoletized, especially with the breed of so-called political leaders we have today. However, I believe that reproductive health is worth this risk. If the government is willing to fund bills on making adobo our national food, malunggay as our national vegetable, renaming public structures such as airports and major highways to political and religious leaders, and other asinine pursuits, I think they - and we, by extension - should be more than willing to use money to ensure that we curb the high maternal mortality rate, cases of teen pregnancy, and new cases of HIV.

If we wish to not pursue the RH Law because the money may be corrupted, then this logic is applicable to ALL kinds of policies, programs, and legislation, not just RH. Thus, if we want to ensure that no corruption will be committed, we either (1) purge the system of the likes of Tanda, Pogi, and Gwapo or (2) cease from pursuing any legislative agenda, policy, or project that would have to make use of the people's money. Which one are those, you ask?

ALL of them.


Number one is much better, I think. 

6. "Teen pregnancy is not the government's problem."

I worked in an NGO for three months, on  project that was supposed to be funded by the PDAF, and as a researcher/assistant writer for our Executive Director for our business plan. Here I am, in all my glory (or the lack thereof) slaving through several webpages and real pages of research, proving to myself that teen pregnancy IS INDEED A PROBLEM and something that the government needs to address.

Make-up-less, sleepless, and love life less. But I did learn a lot of stuff about sex.

Here are some quick facts from NSO, which was presented in the Teen Pregnancy Summit in :

1. In 2010, there were 207,898 live births by teen mothers. 
2. 168 out of 1,719 maternal deaths in 2010 were teenage mothers. 
2. In 2010, 669 out of 8,095 fetal deaths or 8.3% is by teenage mothers. 

if you aren't alarmed by these statistics, then there are others who seem to be in the right state of mind who are. Ultimate Girl Crush Mirian Defensor Santiago, for instance, filed a bill to give further support to projects addressing TP. The National Youth Commission under Commissioner Perci Cendana, is also after the improvement of TP stats. 

Why, you may ask. Well, if you haven't figured it out yet, here are some effects of TP:

1. An adolescent's body is not yet prepared for pregnancy, so carrying a child makes her and the child more at risk for complications - thus fetal and maternal deaths.
2. A teenager has very little financial capacity to raise a family. If college grads in their early twenties have to struggle every day and the pay isn't even enough to start a family, do you think it would be easier for a 14-year old, barely-out-of-high-school girl to financially survive raising a child?
3. Teenage moms who leave school to have their babies usually find it difficult to go back and finish school. A secure financial future would be difficult to achieve as of this point.
4. Because our society overlaps with the Idiot Society, teen mothers are discriminated against.

So I guess teen pregnancy should be a government priority after all. 

7. "The RH law offends my religious beliefs!"

We are a secular country, as stated in the constitution. Legislation should NOT favor your religion. Get over it.

8. "Contraceptives have side effects and risks! We should BAN them."

Safe practice is needed in order to ascertain clients' safety when using medications. Health care professionals are trained (and should be trained) to weigh the pros and the cons of an intervention. 

Reality check: ALL medications have side effects and risks. You just have to flip through MIMS to prove. Shall we ban ALL medications then?

9. "I haven't read the law but I am against it!!!"

That's the problem right there: you make decisions without actually knowing what you are making decisions about. Here is the link to RA10354. Read it, before saying stuff about something you barely have any comprehension of.

10. "The RH Law is unconstitutional."

 Last week, my boss asked me if I wanted to go to Baguio. I was there last March to help set up our company's Baguio branch  by hiring teachers and checking out our new office. It was all work and no play for me, considering that I was alone and I had no idea (and time) to explore the City of Pines. I did buy my mom brocoli and my other loved ones little pasalubong. 

I realized that I should have went, and maybe stayed an extra couple of days. You see, this week,advocates of the Reproductive Health Law braved the cold winds of Baguio. The Supreme Court finally made the decision that quite literally brought tears to my eyes.

Yeah baby! Let's Purple party! <3 font="">

Dear iBlog10: (Channel Tom Cruise and Say) You... Complete... Me...

The PHBS: Likes, Andrei, Raim, and Ate Grace Nicolas at #iBlog10 <3 b="">

I took a leave of absence on April 4, which meant that when I get back to work, a tower of paperwork would await be on my desk. The probability of it being several towers is quite high. I woke up at 4AM and dragged myself to the shower. I left the house at 5:30AM to make sure that I don't kill myself in the morning MRT rush. As I made my way to UP Diliman, my head was filled with bittersweet memory of the place. In between reminiscing I nodded off, exhausted at having to wake up so early when I slept quite late the night before. 

Why the sacrifice you say? One word: iBlog 10. 

Last year, I also attended iBlog with the Philippine Health Bloggers Society. Here's a bit of a throwback:

From L-R: Raim, Hussein, Yours Truly, Drei, and Erick.

 This year, I was only able to attend Day 1 because April 5 is my mom's birthday. But Day 1 was more than enough to convince me that the sacrifice was quite worth it.

Let me tell you why: Like my blog (Codswallop) I am also a niche-less writer. As a freelancer, I've experienced penning down everything from marketing paraphernalia to website content offering different services to articles about improving one's English. I've written business proposals, letters for lobbying a certain ideology, press releases, text blast for marketing, poetry, short horror, literotica, love stories, and even Facebook posts for advertising purposes. I've also written a lot for advocacy, which is obvious in this blog. That's a whole lot of Codswallop.

Which is why attending iBlog 10's Day 1 was perfect for me. Sure, I fell asleep a couple of times (damn exhaustion), but being able to hear all of the speakers talk and - le gasp - covering almost ALL the areas I work on as a writer and blogger is just so amazing. 

Here's how Day 1 went: 

In the first talk, two familiar faces took to the stage: Carlo Ople, who was one of the moderator the TG Guingona's Cybercrime Law forum I attended a couple of years ago, and Mom Blogger aka Ms. Naomi Lardizabal Dado, who I during an interview with Risa Hontiveroz. In their talk abour Bloggers as New Media Personalities, they shared their experience as they transition from bloggers to online bringers of news.

Mom Blogger, in particular, shared with us how she started blogging as a form of healing when her son died. She also shared her transition from blogging about her personal life to informing people about certain products and lastly, her work at Blogwatch, in which she focused on educating netizens regarding the Philippine politics and other social issues. 

Carlo Ople was one of my personal favorites, especially when he showed us an online venture he worked on called  "Bury the Past Project". Apparently the Philippines is Sex Scandal Capital of the World, and with some savvy SEO tricks, BPP pushes down sex scandal sites down three to four pages. Cool. Here's a picture of Mr. Ople and all his coolness, giving us (relatively) young bloggers advice:

Sir, yes sir! :)

The next couple of talks centered on the building online communities and digital marketing - which was why my cool boss, John Lalic, should have been there. We both would have picked up something cool. 

In Building Communities Through Blogging, the Azrael Coladilla talked about spreading one's blog's network by involving new contributors who share the same interests, whereas Jinoe Gavan shared his experience in not only starting Takbo.ph, he also talked about the challenges and rewards of maintaining it. Vince Golanco, founder of When in Manila shared how he started the website and, although rather hesitant, allowed contributors to add to content, thus creating one of the most popular blogs in the Philippines today. He also talked about the perks of belonging to community blogs, which suddenly made me want to try my luck. I wonder if they publish codswallop-y stuff?

Of course, since this was iBlog, free food was served for lunch and the PHBS people and I took our grilled chicken and C2 across Malcolm Hall to enjoy UP Diliman' sprawling greenery. We also had ice cream before going back to the hall for the afternoon talks. 

The next topic was really interesting for me, because it zeroed in on Digital Marketing. The panel was made up of Ate Grace Bondand Nicolas, Jonel Uy, and Fitz Villafuerte. Real interesting stuff and I suddenly wish my boss was there. Being the eager-beaver-Hermione-Granger that I was, of course I asked questions. 

At this point, I have to apologize. Not only did I zonked out (I swear, I'm narcoleptic), I also had to step out because of an emergency at work. Calls, cusses, and giving my teachers some virtual (platonic) love for handling the situation the best they could were in order. When I came back, I had missed the entire talk on Interner Marketing and Advertising (which was done by Jeoff Solas, Manniz Borromeo Pabalan, and Brad Geiser)

Their talk was followed by something much closer to my heart: Blogging as Activism. Delivered by Tonyo Cruz and Francis Acero, the cruz of the talk was heart shattering and simple to the point that it almost (literally) drove me to tears:

Aye!

Day 1 of iBlog 10 ended with a bang (well, with a raffle, but that's kind of the same, really) and exhausted as I was, the event was worth. I would definitely go back next year!

Oh wait, did I mention that I happen to win an iBlog shirt from the raffle? Which made ALL the other PHBS members temporarily hate my guts. Which is fine. The Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland, played by the wonderful Helena Bonham Carter, did say "It is better to have a shirt than to be loved" or something along those lines.

PHBS members deserted me in the middle of taking this photo, because that white thing I'm holding - that's an iBlog10 shirt, friends and neighbors!

More PHBS vanity at the iBlog poster outside Malcolm Hall.

The Queer Ranter Raim.

Me with the Nurse Tambay, Drei.

Drei with Random Nothingness Owner Erick.

 I can't wait for iBlog 11!

Theists, Atheists, and Some (Goddessly) Facepalms

(And yes, I just made up the word “goddessly” – I wanted a feminine adverb)

It was only this year that I got involved with a group who classified themselves as humanists and the Humanist Alliance of the Philippines, International (HAPI) has given me a lot of avenues to serve others as well as to meet people who share the same ideologies as I do. However, even before joining HAPI, I was already exposed to people can be classified as humanists. There are a lot of those in the advocacy. I was also exposed to people who classify themselves as atheists and agnostics.  I have more than a few friends who are quite happy (others quietly happy) in proclaiming this. I consider myself quite lucky to have found and fallen in love with these people. They are good friends who have taught me that to be kind is a blessing in itself and that true wisdom results in the burning desire to help others.

Quite a weird crowd to be hanging out with, especially for an ex-Catholic school girl.

Being on both sides of the coin – such as like being a bit of a nerdy, overachiever in some religious education class I enjoyed in college and now being an officer in a humanist organization and rubbing shoulders with some of the most atheistic atheists I’ve ever met – I can say that both factions have some good in them, but both also have something relatively nasty. In fact, if I were a goddess, I’d have probably face-palmed so much because of these unwarranted nastiness, I would have removed half of my goddessly make-up. Which means two things: (1) I probably need better godly face primer to save my damn foundation and (2) I should write about it before I go bonkers.

Goddessly Facepalm #1: The “Bahala Na” Attitude of Some Theists

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? If God(dess) did exist he/she gave you neurons, did he/she not? You haven’t got two. You haven’t got thousands. You have billions in your head, waiting to be put into good use. And problem solving would be an awesome use for those brain cells.

I do understand that many believers have the “bahala na” attitude – faith. That’s all well and great but whatever happened to “Nasa Diyos ang Awa, Nasa Tao ang Gawa” (Pity comes from God, Action Comes from (hu)man)? Do you just expect deities to wave a magic want and vanish all your troubles away? Do you expect divine intervention without flexing a bit of muscle? Life doesn’t work that way, you know.

Goddessly Facepalm #2: Read this in Draco Malfoy’s voice – “You believe in God? You must be inferior.”

I asked one of my most trusted friend if this is what militant atheism is all about and he said, “That’s being an asshole.” I would admit a moment’s desire to hug this person (and maybe kiss him senseless, but don't tell him that).

A lot of nonbelievers have this tendency to believe that being an atheist automatically makes them superior to those who still have religion…which further emphasizes my belief that freethinking does not equal atheism.

It’s discrimination all over again, and although discrimination has some good use, it does have its evil effects, especially when applied to, say, every single person belonging in a specific category. You know, like what Hitler did to the Jews? I'm sure everybody remembers Hitler.

Goddessly Facepalm #3:  You('re) gay/lesbian/transgendered/Pro-RH/like sex!

When theists go Sodom and Gomorrah because of other people's sexual preference, i can't help but cringe. Seriously, ladies and gentlemen, whatever happens inside people's bedroom is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Unless of course it's legit porn then by all means, write a review on techniques and positions for all I care. 

Seriously, stop blaming other people's sexual preference for Yolanda. That's climate change, y'all, not gay sex.

Goddessly Facepalm #4: This picture (and all it represents).

Picture grabbed from Facebook.

This, according to some unbelievers, is intelligent. Seriously? Some people have beliefs and not every religious person has done inhumane, idiotic things. Many believers are truly concerned with the conditions of others and would sincerely love to help. Many ar Case in point: Catholics for RH.


Newsflash: Bastardizing an entire group's belief just because you think it's funny is not smart. It's stupid.