I worked very long, bloody hours last Monday– 8AM-9PM. When I
left the office it was hell and high water, the latter literally. I seriously
thought it was Ondoy all over again. Turns out, I was half right. Although I
was able to go home this time, I still got stuck at a convenience store just
outside our subdivision because the flood water was already way too deep. I
finally got home by removing my shoes and walking through three feet of water.
Could have been worse though, but these are the times I wish I were a
water-bender, or better yet, a ninja.
Despite this, I was quite happy yesterday. Finally, after
years of being dragged in Congress, the reps have voted to get the
controversial RH Bill off the debates and into amendments. This is a very big
progress since the bill was proposed about 14 years ago, and thus part of the
battle of RH advocates has finally been won. I was teary. I was emotional. When
I saw the Facebook post, I thought that, for a moment, I was going to bawl like
a kid. I wanted to throw a freaking Purple Party with condom balloons as
decoration and give out kisses as party favors. I was THAT ecstatic.
I still am, despite my bare-foot journey through flood
waters that might have given me leptospirosis or something equally horrible.
Of course, like all victorious battles, it isn’t all fun and
games after. There is still ensuring that the bill does not get watered down
and the essential provisions wiped out. There is still the continuous lobbying
for progress and RH advocates are sure that the opposing party will
enthusiastically go against this. And of course, there will always be the
ongoing battle on the importance (or immorality, depending on which side you
are on) of the bill.
I’ve always been a fan of debates, and to make this more
fun, here are a bunch of tips for both sides of the RH battle.
1.
Before engaging in debates, read the bill. It’s
pretty damn useless to be for or against something you don’t completely
understand. It’s like saying you like Twilight series story because Rob
Pattinson is hot. The connection is pretty difficult to see.
2.
Get facts straight, such as this one: condom
prevents the meeting of the egg and the sperm, thus, the use of condom prevents
fertilization. It does not, however, cause abortion. If you’re still against
condom use, fine. But spreading wrong information just to derail your opponent’s
argument will eventually bite you back in the behind. Painfully.
3.
Don’t drag your god into a debate. Religion is
always a very bad basis for argument. Debate means arguing to persuade. It will
probably be effective if you’re speaking to someone with the same religion as
you have, because basically you speak of the same beliefs. But what if you’re
using, for example, Catholic tenets but you’re speaking to a Muslim? Or a
neo-pagan/Wiccan? Or even an atheist/agnostic. Result: your argument is
invalid.
4.
As stated before, in a debate, your aim is to
persuade people. Calling me an “anti-Christ” is not persuasion. I won't agree to you just because you called me fat. That's just plain stupid. Once you start
throwing names around, you’ve lost. In law, they call it ad hominem. You trash
talk the person because you’re not smart enough to go against the ideas toe-to-toe.
I’m still hoping all of us can be better than that.
5.
We think we’re right. You think you’re right.
Let’s not be idiots, and let’s keep our minds open.
6.
I actually went to certain anti-RH Facebook
pages, because I was seriously and sincerely trying to understand their point
of view. When I started to clarify what they mean when they said certain
things, such as “disoriented sa (about) reproductive process”, what I got were scathing
replies that made me feel I was being insulted for being ignorant. If you truly
want to persuade, you win people over not by making them feel stupid, but by
clarifying and explaining your stand. This has exceptions, though…
 |
| The admin of the page actually banned me from this one. I was trying to clarify the phrase he/she used to describe a friend:"disoriented sa (about) reproductive health". I was about to say that definitions can be operative and words have nuances, after all. But I got banned before I could post my reply. My posts have also been deleted, thus the lack of screenshots. I have edited this to delete replies that do not concern my queries, but I can post the whole screenshot if needed. |
7.
…and the exception is that if the person asking
for an explanation is a troll. In discussions and debates, idiotic questions
are appalling. One such question I got was “may
budget allocation ba ang masturbation?” (Is there a budget allocation for
masturbation?). Seriously, you can’t
be seriously asking me that. Feigned idiocy does not persuade; it makes people
more wary to join your cause. Idiocy, even if faked, is rarely ever attractive, after all.
8.
Persuasion is continuous. If you tell me that
you’ve gotten tired of sincere questions about your beliefs, then it shows that
you’re either prejudiced (because I am an enemy and thus there is no way in
hell or heaven that I want to understand you) or you’re a lost case because you
haven’t got enough arguments to back up your stand.
9.
Last but not the least: Please remember that a
debate can just be an exchange of ideas, a mental stimulation exercise (and a
rather braingasmic one, if I do say so myself). It IS possible that you leave
without convincing the opposite party. It is possible to walk away without changes
of hearts, only (hopefully) a more open-minded perspective of your stand and
theirs. It is also possible for debates
to end without us being barbaric, and keeping our respects.
Enjoy the discourse.#
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