Janina Writes Here: Catharsis

Confession: If I had died within this week, I would have accomplished nothing. A graver sin, though, is that I haven't been writing.

This is really just an attempt to get everything down on paper (or blog) before my head explodes. Thus, dear reader, if you are looking for some sort of political snark, cultural analysis, and the usual stuff I put on Codswallop, then this is not the post for you. This will just be a bunch of attempts to re-establish that I am a human being fully capable of productivity. Give me a couple of weeks, and I'll hopefully be back to my usual "work-makes-me-happy" attitude. I'd have to admit I've been confined to bed not only due to my 38 Celsius fever, but due to a lack of enthusiasm on anything beyond horror movies and creepypastas. Right now, I'm honestly sleepy, and cuddling with my Charmander plushie white re-reading Stephen King's short horror stories sound much better than writing this...but Writing rarely ever calls me, and if I do not make an effort, it might never do again. I write this because if I don't I'm afraid I never will for a long time.

So here we go, dear reader. You have been warned. If you are not in the mood for my catharsis, I suggest you peruse my less personal posts. Off with you for now, make rounds within the cyberworld, but please do come back - I promise I will be.

~~*~~

(Anak ng) Tofu

Inspired by B. Sy and K. de Mesa

(Kayo na may masayang love life.)

I know where I stand: it is

in between morning and dawn,

twilight and everning;

in the spaces between clasped hands,

or before one wakes from a dream;

it is in empty words and fake gestures,

in meaningless convenience and

cradle of lies;

it is in is in the sweetness of pretensions.

I know where I stand:

it is upon thin air,

braced for the death trap that is the fall.

It is between spark and fire

and nothing at all.

~~*~~

Imagine: Roxas Boulevard looking like this.

I have worked in Manila for a year and a half, and I have never seen Roxas this empty. Well, it wasn't completely empty - people in white were talking to and from Luneta.

It was the Araw ng Kagitingan. It was the Million People March.

I got of the FX even before it reached Pedro Gil and started walking. I had on my huge Hawk backpack, my hair was held away from my face by a pen and a pencil, and had on my trusty sandals. I had thought about wearing my purple scarf - the color of the Reproductive Health advocacy - but for once I opted to leave it in the closet. Today is not a day of different colors and opinion, I thought. Today, no one was purple or red. Today, I wore the color of the Million People March. I joined the rest of the white-clad protesters who marched toward Luneta.

The "picnic" in Luneta was, in my humble opinion, really that. Of course, there will always be militant groups demonstrating on the streets, there were banners and streamers, and programs, and signature campaigns for the abolition of the pork barrel the usual stuff in rallies, including asking Pnoy to step down because he couldn't prevent the greedy monsters we elected steal money from us. The Million People March, however, was as much a fun affair as it is a demonstration of people power.

The Million People March was fun. There were people waving the Filipino flags. Big gold and silver letters were laid out in front of Luneta spelling the words, "SCRAP PORK" and if you had your friends or family with you, you could have your picture taken by it. There were people wearing matching shirts that featured pigs, and quite a few wearing pig masks. Bikers and joggers stopped by to join the party. There of was ice cream, corn, an assortment street food if one got hungry, and condominium agents.

Above: Pig costumes were abundant in Luneta.

Above: The Pinoy should be known for their ability to spot opportunities and grab it. Aware that people would be flocking to Luneta, an assortment of entrepreneurs gathered in and around the place to make a living (and to join the festivities). Kuya here convinced me that a cup of macapuno and sweetened banana topped with ice and milk was exactly what I needed. Buying from him was one of the best decisions I made all day.

Above: The Million People March was a family affair.

Rallies like these are fun affairs, I think. My opinion is not as reliable as others, as I have only been in two rallies before this. But one thing is for sure: the Million People March is solid call of the people for transparency and accountability. Online activism and influencing is all well and good, but I still think it takes special courage (and motivation) to really get out there.

However, taking to the streets is a one-day affair for many people, and what saddens me is the reality that many Filipinos have very short memory when it comes to the political scumbags that keep getting into power because the very same people who hated their guts a month ago would be voting for them again in the next election. And the Filipino people wonder why we haven't had much progress in decades.


The Million People March was indeed a fun event, but it was also an eye-opener. This man was walking around the crowd, selling cigarette and candy. As you can see, he was barefoot. Everyday, hundreds, if not thousand, of people like him walk the streets and the roads of the country, peddling their merchandise, under the heat of the sun or the battery of the rain and wind. Despite this, they most likely not have enough to feed themselves and their family. This is why the Philippines MUST. NOT. FORGET

~~*~~

The first weekend of September made me rather happy.

I woke up on the 7th and packed my bag for an overnight stay in Tagaytay, but I made sure I had enough space in my bag for the books I was planning to buy from a bookfair in Magallanes. The event was called Aklatan. I guess it was an expansion of the yearly Writers In Talk (WIT) event I went to, which Visprint organized. This year, it was Visprint plus a bunch of other publisher. Let me tell you, it took great effort not to squander my hard-earned money on all those delicious books. I believe I deserve to be congratulated: I only spent a thousand bucks. Here are a few of the stuff that I bought:

1. Reports from the Abyss by Karl de Mesa. After months of hunting for this book and haunting people who can buy it for me, I finally bought it. Sucks that I had to leave the event early, though, because I wasn't able to get it signed.

2. Wakasang Wasak by Siege Malvar. This baby has its own section in this blog, as it has made me say, "Tangina, anyare?!" several times while I was reading it. In a good way, of course. Some people may think that this book as bad writing, but I think it's brilliant.

3. Project 17 by Eliza Victoria. After reading Ms. Eliza's short story collection, A Bottle of Storm Clouds and Other Stories, she quickly became one of my favorite speculative fiction writers, so it made sense to get very very first novel!

4. Stories from the Diabolical by Budgette Tan and Kajo Baldisimo. This is a collection of short, illustrated stories from the Trese world that are not quite part of the comic books.

5. Seroks by David Hontiveros and Alan Navarra. These two names are more than enough reason to buy the books.

6. Smaller and Smaller Circles by F.H. Batacan. It's about a priest. I thought it would make a lovely Christmas present for an Old Wise Friend. The fact that I am willing to give away a book is proof of my caring and selfless nature.

I stayed for Sir Siege Malvar's talk on how he came about with Wakasang Wasak, and then I had to leave. I ran into a fellow Emerging Youth Leader before I left though, Likes, who was lucky enough to have had the chance to take photos with Lourd De Veyra and Manix Abrera. I informed her, though a text message, that I hated her and her awesome UP life with passion.

By then, I was on my way to Tagaytay.


"I don't care how I look" look

The trip was quite convenient. I got on a van from Pasay Rotonda and spent a couple of hours or so on the road. It cost me PHP140 or so, but it took me right to the Neogan, where the inn I'll be staying at is located. The place is called La Tierrez. It was like a huge house with several rooms, really. It was a quiet place, given that no one else was there. I liked the peace. It was so different from the metro.

I stayed in one without an air condition, which was fine, given that the place was cold. The overnight stay cost PHP1,200, including breakfast in the garden. I had bulalo for dinner and spent my entire time there sleeping, relaxing, and reading Sir Karl's book. Oh, and I watched The Conjuring.