Why I Wouldn't Want Edward as a Boyfriend, etc.

I was at the UNFPA’s Family Planning in the Business Sector Summit last Thursday, acting as volunteer documentor for one of the breakout sessions. It was, over all, a fun experience. The topics were on the role of the business sector in providing reproductive health and family planning services to their employees and the gains of both employer and employees. And of course we received lots of goodies, like multi-colored condoms.

The highlight for me, though, was the plenary session, simply because two of my favorite persons were speakers: one of my ultimate girl crush, Sex and Sensibilities founder Ana Santos, and of course, Sir Alvin Dakis, president and founder (also known as Supreme Lord and Eternal Leader) of the Alliance of Young Nurse Leaders and Advocates, an organization I belong to.

Although I was very much interested in what all the panelists had to say, it was Ms. Ana’s story that got me spewing curses while I was recording the session. It was about a group of teenagers who were given the opportunity to earn a living and study at the same time. According to Ms. Ana, these girls worked in the morning and had time to study in the afternoon. They would be allowed to finish an equivalent of a high school degree so they will have a chance at a better job and possibly a college education. Instead, these teenage girls chose to get themselves knocked up.

They had a choice and they chose to become pregnant.  The reason: their families are demanding financial support. Solution: they went and got themselves pregnant so they’d only be supporting their kid. Although I understand the reasoning, I still think it is totally nuts. Getting pregnant when you're not ready is not a solution - it's a problem.

Contrary to popular belief, being ready to tie the knot and have kids is not about age. I’m twenty-four years old, I have a job, I am a licensed nurse, I’m confident to say much better off than other girls my age and I’m very much afraid of he prospect of marriage and pregnancy for the simple reason that I am not ready.  I don’t think it’s about love either. I think that offering yourself to another person must be done when you’ve completely satisfied yourself. For me, that means that I have reached the peak of my career, or something close. “You complete me” is complete BS. Why would I want someone who’s not whole to begin with? 

I guess this way of thinking stems from my ideology that princesses are over-rated. After all, why be a princess who needs saving when I can be a kick-arse ninja? The idea of being saved through marriage seems self-depreciating to me, although, of course, not all women are like me. 

Breaking Dawn 2, the last installment of the vampire
movie series, Twilight, is currently showing and attracting
a lot of sparkly vampire love. Image from Wikipedia.com

Which brings me to Edward Cullen and this massive brouhaha about Twilight. I know a lot of girls that would give their right hand to have a guy like Edward. After all, who wouldn't want someone constantly described as Adonis-like, with perfect hair and golden eyes who can play the piano like a pro and write you lullabies? Let’s not forget that if you were Edward’s girl, you’d probably get your own car ( Volvo, no less), a revamp of your wardrobe, a lovely engagement ring with little sparkly diamonds, and probably your own island.

Well, ladies, he’s all yours.  Not only do I dislike glitter, I am also not attracted to sociopathic men like Edward Cullen. Here are some reasons why:

1. He’s creepy. And no, not because he’s a vampire. I generally think that gothic creatures of darkness are cool. He’s creepy because he’s a total stalker. I mean, he sneaks into a girl’s room to watch her sleep. If I were to the girl in that situation, I’d have screamed bloody murder and thrown the first thing I’d get my hands on at him. 
2. He’s makes the important choices for the girl. Sometimes, even empowered women like a bit of chivalry. We like it when men do things for us, act gentlemanly, and sweep in to save the day. Sometimes, men are the source of reason, especially when we gals are hormonal and PMSing. But NOT EVERY FREAKING TIME. In New Moon, the second book of the Twilight series,  Prince Charming Edward just ups and leaves after his brother tries to eat his girlfriend after said girlfriend had a paper cut. This leaves Bella totally emo for about a hundred or so pages. Fine, he was trying to protect her because his family would totally want to have his girl for dinner, but couldn’t he have consulted his partner before making decisions that would affect THEIR relationship? It might have saved the readers an hour or so of dry narrative.
3. He asks Bella to marry him knowing she’s barely out of her teens and, regardless of the fictional billions of dollars in Daddy Cullen’s bank account, may not be ready to be a wife. She’s 18 years old. She just graduated from high school. She had her whole life ahead of her. Too bad she’s naïve. Couldn’t Edward turn her to a vampire, remain cuddle buddies with her, then send her off to college? I mean, with eternal life and beauty coupled with the money they have, Bella could have gone back to school and discover the cure for cancer. It's not like they're going to die in the next four years - that's the perk of immortality, after all! But I guess the right and rational thing are too much to hope for. 
4.  He treats Bella like a kid. Yes, it is kind of romantic when your guy gets in the mood to give you everything in the world and try and take care of you every step of the way, but really, you’re a big girl and you can take care of yourself. Bella, despite being a total clutz, was still in one piece when she met Edward, right? So why does he need to baby her every single time? Why prevent her from speaking to her best friend, for example? So fine, the guy was in love with her, and the guy was a werewolf, but couldn’t Edward trust Bella to dig her way out of her own mess?

Conclusion: I have enough restrictions in my life, thank you very much. You can go wallow in the imaginary love of your sparkly vampire prince. I'd prefer Johnny Depp any day. 

On a side note, I have been indirectly asked why some people (that includes me) react so negatively to the Twilight series.  I was told that “Bad publicity is still publicity. Keeping quiet would let the issue die.” That’s kind of true, of course. I’d still like to take this opportunity to answer this question publicly. Why am I outspoken about the Twilight series?

1. Because despite being bad literature, it’s influential literature. Not everyone will read it and think of it as just a past time. Its target audience, the adolescent girls, are quite easy to influence. I’m just doing my part as a productive member of this generation by ensuring that the next generation’s girls are not all fangirls of Edward Cullen and would not seek self depreciation by making the sparkly vampire their ideal mate.
2. Because there is more to marriage than love and looks and sex, and those things are not even shown in the books.
3. Because I think love, as it was depicted the books, is not that shallow.

This may be my last post about the series. It took me almost 1,500 words to get this out of my system. But at least it’s over. The books are done, the movies are almost finish, and hopefully whatever crazy ideology this series has injected to the men, women, and children of our poor society would get purged eventually.

I'll be ending this little rant with something I've been thinking for quite a while: Some men are foolish. They think that women like me want to be saved, when in fact we want to do the saving. On the other hand, some women are also foolish. They think they need men to do the saving when they can be perfectly capable to save themselves.#