But I'm Your Best Friend! HIV/AIDS Talk and the UPLB Experience

This guy is Kris Gerard Alvarez, a certified zombie lover, and a microbiology instructor with a huge poster of the metabolic cycle in his living room. He works at the University of the Philippines, Los Baños. This blog post and whatever it contains are his fault. Oh, and he is also happens to be my best friend since first year high school. God, I'm old.

Kris and I (ye photographer) at North Park, Alabang Town Center. He ate everything.

Krissy and I talk about everything, from our love lives to our passion for science and the art, to social issues, although it was only recently that my insane best friend invoked the "Serve the People" side of being an Isko. It was October last year when, during our once-in-a-blue-moon date, in the middle of eating at North Park, that the subject ofthe Facebook page called the "LB Files" came up. Apparently this FB page contains sordid, if not brave, confessions of students from UP Los Banos. I also shared with him the stuff I learned from the online course I took on HIV/AIDS. The conversation was the start of a small project that mixed both of our passion - his science and my advocacy.

This was the start of a little project we came up with - to give a less sterile and more societal (and sassy) overview of HIV/AIDS to UPLB students. With a bit of coordination with Ms. Gem Encarnacion, one of the microbiology professors in UPLB, our project was good to go. 

Ms Gem and I, after the HIV/AIDS talk. She's so incredibly accommodating!

My talk was to be on the 5th of February, a Wednesday. I had two schedules: 9AM and 5:30PM. This meant I had to be at Los Baños at 8AM. I spent the night in Alabang so I can be at South Station at the ungodly hour of 6AM. 

A Far Cry from a High School Memory 

Me, being eloquent and articulate: OMG trees O.O

When I was in high school, UPLB was one of our more common haunts. This is because of a project we were working on for our Research subjects. As 4th year students, we quantified a substance called butyrate, a byproduct of resistant starch inoculated by human feces in the large intestine. Butyrate is a substance found to cause apoptosis (cell suicide). We quantified how much butyrate we could get from variations of bananas. 

It was probably because I was a screwed up high school student that I remembered UPLB very differently - less enchanting and gloomier. Long story short, I think UPLB is much better than Diliman. Maybe it was the fact that the campus was away from the hustle and bustle of the city, or that it seemed so alive because of people walking about. Maybe I just enjoyed the trees and the wide open spaces UPLB offered. At night, the campus was still dark. Kris and I walked back to his apartment where I spent the night. The lamp posts cast a yellowish light on the otherwise pitch-black streets. Above us, the night sky gleamed and twinkled in all its glory. 

I'd love to go visit again, just to walk around, coffee in one hand, with people who I can talk about anything and everything with. That's definitely in my itinerary this year. 

Let's Talk About It

My little poster right outside Krissy's office.

HIV/AIDS has always been a topic that a lot of people shy away from, and being unable to talk about it is the root of ignorance. My talk was directed to microbiology students but Kris and I decided that an overview of the HIV/AIDS situation in the Philippines is in order - to connect the clinical with the societal, to ensure that these young people know that HIV/AIDS is a very real problem that can affect anybody. The message is simple: you can be part of the statistics. 

HIV does not discriminate (it's people who do that)

It is noteworthy to check out the stats the Department of Health provides. Majority of the new cases of HIV infection are men who engage in sexual intercourse with other men. Despite this, the message must be clear: you can be part of the statistics because anyone can have HIV - the poor or the rich; the educated or the ignorant; the young or the old; the ones engaged in heterosexual or homosexual intercourse; man, woman, or child. The virus invades a part of the immune system called CD4 T-cell, where it replicates. The replication eventually destroys the cell, causing the person living with HIV (PLHIV)'s natural defense against infections to weaken. 

HIV is found in several body fluids - blood, pre-cum, cum, vaginal and anal mucus. It is understandable why 95% of the cases contacted the disease through sexual intercourse. The virus may be present in other body fluids like, saliva and urine, but in such small amounts that it cannot transfer the virus. The fundies are right that abstinence - in all shape and forms - can save us from (a) hell (of an infection). After all, 95% of the stats would not have happened if there were no sex. Unfortunately, abstinence is a pretty tough promise to keep. If you can't abstain, then at least have some of these babies:

Those aren't candies, but they are flavored. 

Condoms not only prevent unwanted pregnancies, they also lessen the risk of contacting HIV. 

"I would think about killing myself."

This was, unfortunately, one of the responses of some of the participants when I asked them what they would do if they find they have HIV. Many people believe that being sero-positive means the end of the world. This depressive ideology is primarily rooted in ignorance. 

We have yet to find the ultimate cure for HIV. There is also no vaccine to prevent us from being infected. There are, however, these marvelous things called anti-retroviral drugs. ARVs function to limit the viral load of HIV. Lower the viral load and you lower the transmission rate and lengthen a PLHIV's life. 

Bad news: ARVs cost an arm and a leg. 

Thank goodness for the money we've been granted by Global Fund which allows the government to provide free ARVs to PLHIVs. Even the test to determine your status is free! The problem with this is sustainability. As of now, the AIDS Law does not contain a provision to allocate money to providing PLHIVs with free treatment. We're absolutely reliant on the grant. Amendments, please.

Thank Science for ARVs. Because of these medications, PLHIVs have a chance to live relatively normal, fruitful lives. 

Getting HIV is not the end of the world. You don't die the next day after finding out you have the disease. With proper treatment, you can live your life well, have satisfying and loving relationships, have a family, and contribute to society.

So why all the negative vibes?

Stigma and a Deadly Cycle

Photo courtesy of The Stigma Project

Culture has some very real and very nasty contribution to why we now have more than 10,000 PLHIVs in the Philippines. Sex has always been viewed as a taboo in the country. Pre-marital sex is frowned upon and those who engage in it are called many different names. Slut-shaming is so rampant in the Philippines, it is but second nature to many Filipinos to drag up one's sexual history whenever they are facing controversies and hurl it at their faces. Homosexual sex is not merely frowned upon, but is actually persecuted. You only have to go to the comments section of news stories featuring same-sex marriage to see people throwing Bible verses about Sodom and Gomorrah and how homosexuals are destined for hell. Slut-shaming, bigotry, and homophobia in the Philippines are not as bad as in more Sotto conservative countries, but they're not exactly mild either. 

It does not help that sexual intercourse is the most common mode of transmission for HIV. The slut-shaming, bigotry, and homophobia extends to the disease. Fear of being associated to the disease has caused people to shy away from seeking accurate information from health care professionals. In other words, the stigma attached to the disease has helped propagate ignorance about the disease. 

Ignorance means that people sometimes have no idea how to protect themselves from HIV. Ignorance also means people may ostracize PLHIV just because they are afraid of getting the disease. It is this fear, this stigma, that affects PLHIVs and their significant others the most. It is also this stigma that allows the spread of disease.

If you are afraid of slut-shaming, bigotry, and homophobia, sometimes from who you believe are your friends and family, the people who should care and love you, would you be brave enough to know your status, to seek treatment, and to live life?

Some are not. Some would rather hide their status and not seek treatment. Some would rather not know their status at all. In the immortal words of one of my teachers in the Emory University AIDS course, people would then be "having sex in a sea of virologic ignorance". The disease could be passed along, without the carrier being aware of it.

Stigma, aids HIV to propagate in a society. In this case, that society is the Philippines. The only way to eradicate the stigma (and thus help the worsening situation in the country) is to eradicate ignorance. The more you know about HIV/AIDS, the more you can protect yourself and your loved ones from it.

Explore. Express. Empower.

Anyone can be part of the movement to halt HIV/AIDS on its track. There are developmental workers who put up programs for HIV awareness and prevention, and who help people deal with the infection. There are health care workers who specialize in the disease. There are various individuals who do their part to halt the spread of the virus. And you can be part of this movement. 

Explore the disease and everything it is connected with. Know as much as you can about it. Talk to about HIV and how it affects a person, how it affects society. Talk about the interplay of health, society, gender issues, and HIV/AIDS. The more you know, the more protected you and your loved ones can be.

Express. Spread what you know (and not the virus). Talk about what you found out - to your family, your friends, the people in your social media. 

Empower. Join groups that lobby for the AIDS Law amendment. Be part of a social media campaign for awareness. Form or join organizations geared towards providing both information and service to prevent HIV and help PLHIVs live their lives to the fullest. All of these are at things that you can do. Sabi nga namin sa adbokasiya, "Puso lang ang puhunan". It all starts with breaking the apathy and with the determination to contribute for people's betterment.




My UPLB experience is truly a highlight of my February. I do hope I have more opportunities to share my passion and the things I fight for.

Thank you, again, to Ms. Gem who helped us organize this little project. And Krissy, my best friend for ever until my telomeres run out, there was the fruit of our random conversations. I demand we talk more. It seems to lead to something wonderful and, although probably by a long shot, life changing.

Because, Bullocks, It's the Love Month: On Writing

Sorry.

I haven’t written ANYTHING for February because this so-called “Love Month” isn’t something I’m supposed to celebrate, being single with a cold and shattered heart and all that drama. Of course, I’m bitter. Laugh all you want, happy, in love people, but there you go. I don’t have dates to write about, or sweet stories to share. I might have a couple of make-up ideas for the Forever Alone ladies, but I’m too lazy to make a tutorial/blogpost. 

But of course, I can’t leave my Codswallop alone. I did promise to myself to continue writing. I mean, sure, I have a couple of dozens of article I get paid to write, but I promised myself I’d write for myself just to keep myself sane. (See how many “myselfs” I wrote? Self-centered, eh?).

And then, of course, I am reminded that I’m in love with writing and am passionate about so many things – rape prevention and survival, HIV/AIDS awareness and stigma elimination, my friends and family, the arts.

I’ve decided that I can still write about love, and what better way to start than to write about writing?

I’ve been writing since I was in 4^th grade and have endeavored to be a writer since I decided I can be one – again, since 4^th grade. I was a very assertive ten-year old. I was also a half-crazy, suicidal, depressed teen-ager. It was Writing and the arts took me out of the danger zone. Thank goodness for art therapy. This is why I kept on it despite not being very good at it. Writing is like finding the most convenient soul mate. Writing does not demand so much – only that I be there when it needs me. Usually at 3-bloody-AM.

Eventually, though, I got good enough to write for money. It’s always been my dream to. When I was younger, I imagined myself to be sitting in front of a well-loved type writer, a cup of coffee next to me, with words flowing from the tips of my fingers, creating my next novel, my next millions of pesos.

Well, the cup of coffee (and chocolate, Mountain Dew, chips and crackers – essentially sugar and caffeine) came true. Writing for money isn’t as glamorous as it seems. Instead of novels, I’ve written blogposts (for another blog, Codswallop is mine), business proposals (in less than a day, thank freaking goodness for my NGO training in proposal writing), all forms of corporate communication, website content, and marketing paraphernalia (tip to companies out there: hire marketing people with great com skills, it’ll cost you less).

Me, writing. Not exactly the epitome of beauty and grace, but there you go.

Do I like it? Yes. The rush and fulfillment of finishing an article and getting money I can use for my and my family’s needs is great. 

Is it as great as I envisioned? Writing for money is different from writing to keep away from self-destructive tendencies. Here are some things I learned from writing for a living.:

    

    1.       Not everything you write is your baby. Sometimes, you’ll be asked to write about awesome things – letters to legislators and powerful people to advance a cause you believe in, for instance – or some totally stupid topic given by some idiot who doesn’t even understand the topic they gave you. To be honest, I would really not want to be associated with the latter. To many writers, that seems calloused – that’s your name in the byline, published online, where people can read it! – and would think that this is tantamount to abandoning my own kid. This isn’t true at all. In writing, there are some pieces to pour your heart and soul into, pieces that fulfill you as a writer and as a person. These are your children. You send these out to the world like your own kids and they get beaten and criticized by both editors and readers. It’s like watching your children going through problems the world throws at them and feeling incompetent as a parent. It hurts. But how these artistic offsprings you produce survive being mauled by the editor and criticized by readers would always help you create better literary children. (Gosh, I should like a mom).

The same can’t be said for write-ups. 

(Number 1 is especially dedicated to my friend who spent an hour writing and revising one sentence. Dude, you're awesome, but seriously, after that hour-long struggle, I needed chocolate.)

This is one of the poems I write when I was younger. Conclusion: I was one effed-up kid.

   

   2.       Despite not being your baby, you still have to do your damnest to produce well-written article. You get paid for what you write. You owe it to the client to produce something he or she can work with. This is not to say that you have to write a masterpiece all the time. Making sure that you don’t commit any horrible grammatical sins or that you did your research before writing your piece are things that should be constant in your practice.

    3.       Some pieces are worth more money than others. There are times I’d had to write marketing messages for text blasts and other times, a business proposal about some obscure product that even my client had no idea about (read:#/wrist). Some write-ups are worth more money than others. When agreeing on a price, make sure that you take into consideration the work that goes into the piece and not just the number of words required.

   

   4.       Learn to say “No”. Money is awesome. It buys me stuff I like, such as weird accessories, books, and art stuff I can play with. When my mom was suffering from insanely high blood sugar, I was the one who spent for her meds and check-up. The money came from my writing jobs. The money I gave my family for Christmas came from the PHP200 blogposts I write every week. I was able to help out some friends whose family were affected by Super Typhoon Haiyan because I choose to bleed words. In freelance writing, the more jobs you get, the more money there is. But you should have a limit. Can you really deliver 10 articles per week, on top of other writing jobs, on top of your regular job? Say no if you can’t. 

Note to self: Don’t take in more writing jobs. Quit the others.

I love writing. I do believe that it saved me from death by ingesting too much paracetamol and vodka, from cutting and slacking off from school too much. Earning from what I love makes it so much more precious because I can help my friends and family while saving myself from insanity.

I don’t know what else to say, really. We talk about love all the time and we always equate love to a person. It’s almost always understandable, to be in love with a person. But we can also be in love with our passions, can be not?

I guess that’s what my February will be about.  It may be Single Awareness Month for me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t write about love, right?