The Ugly Side of Advocacy

"Advocacy is like the Bates Motel - once you check, you don't check out. Unless you're dead."

That line was conceived yesterday with my fellow advocates Sir Alvin Dakis, Erick Bernardo, and Joey Dela Cruz while we walked along Ayala. We just came from a meeting with Dr. Pura Wee of the Asian Institute of Management - Dr. Stephen Zuellig Center Center for Asian Business Transformation. The adrenalin was pretty high and all four of us were very excited about the project we were going to venture on together. 

Advocacy is a passion I only discovered a few years ago, and until lately, I only did it during my free time. Now that I am working as a full-time advocate for reproductive and sexual health, I feel as if I've finally found my place in the world, my soul mate (yes, bite me, I'm in love with giving out condoms and convincing people there's nothing wrong with saying vagina). Here's the story of how that happened. Before going full-time, though, I was already a member of several NGOs: I'm founding member of the Alliance of Young Health Advocates and an officer of the Alliance of Young Nurse Leaders and Advocates. I am also the current president of Philippine Health Bloggers Society. And to think I just started out as a regular commentator in a Facebook page called RH Bill-I Support. 

Above: Oh-so-young me (3rd girl from the right) with the other more experienced and more relevant RH Bill advocates at Carlos Celdran's The Living Room. I remember being the earliest to arrive, bringing lots of Coke, texting Sir Alvin to come already, and some vague scene involving Lays and the simulation of birth. This was so long ago that the shirt Sir A was wearing is now in tatters and is a certified pambahay outfit.

Below: My first ever rally as an RH Advocate. Here I am going against the Ayala Alabang Condom Ordinance.

Being in the advocacy is really one of the most enriching experiences of my life. The learning experiences are exquisite and the fact that I am working for more than myself is a reward in itself. But like everything else, it's not all fun and games and sunshine and kisses. To be an advocate means to work your arse off and be rewarded by knowledge, experience, new friends and allies, and the ability to help more people. However, it also means you have to deal with several unpleasant situations.

Divide and conquer.

Image from divorce-rights.co.uk

It's a given: people advocating for the same cause are working toward a common goal, whatever that is. But different groups have different ideologies in terms of the how to go about fighting for their cause. Some groups may be conservative and others revolutionary. A difference in ideology can create conflicts between groups and people, if a compromise cannot be decided. 

"We are allies, but not friends," my mentor once said. And this is true. In fact, when I started in the advocacy, I was sure I was tight with this one person I considered to be a sibling. Eventually, though, I was dropped like a hot potato, not because that person suddenly had an epiphany that giving condoms is no longer in the list of "good stuff to do", but probably because we chose different paths on how to fight for what we believe in (and other such reasons I really don't want to explore). Common goal, different methods. We both had to take sides. In these things, you sometimes have no choice. Sometimes, you lose friends too. 

If no compromise is made, one faction may eventually try and undermine the other - a show of power, a coup d'etat of  some sort. This is especially true if factions are created within one organization. One faction - usually a dominant one, but not always- may cease power and run things the way they want it. Either the losing faction submits to the ruling administration, or the organization disintegrates into chaos and the losing faction cuts itself from the rest.

Internal conflict within organizations and inter-organizations is one of the ugly aspects of being an advocate. 

Profiting from the non-profit.

Advocacy is a word thrown around by several businesses that are in dire need of a cool marketing strategy. After all, what would be a better image than a selfless entity which dedicates profit to helping "better the lives of people," "improve the image if insert-name-of-profession-here", and "show the world the potential of insert-marginalized/potential-target-clients-here". I should know - I used to belong to the corporate scene and actually helped craft these kinds of advocacy campaigns that were just meant to bring in money. 

The reasons why people and organization slip into advocacy are sometimes questionable. If it's not the money, then it's power. Being an advocate means you can have access to people in position, other organizations, and government bodies that the ordinary Pinoy has to get in line for. 

Mental pains and mental problems.

Advocacy work has no concept of time. There are many instances that we had to do all-nighters just to be able to finish our deliverables, prepare for an event, or finish paperwork. If 11 mothers die everyday then you and your work might just be the only thing standing between the mothers and the possibility of more death. And for many people, such toxicity and demand are not only profit-less, it is thankless.

Each aspect of advocacy work - planning, implementation of programs, monitoring and evaluation, and sustaining - will demand as much juice from your brain cells as it can extract. If you're not willing to learn and work hard, then advocacy isn't for you. But that's a given already, actually.

The ugly part comes in when you already have a few well-executed projects under your belt and when you've met the bigwigs in your niche - legislators, UN officials, government officers, and other leaders. Mental problems revolve mostly on delusions of grandeur. Delusion of grandeur is defined as "delusional conviction of one's own importance, power, or knowledge or that one is, or has a special relationship with, a deity or a famous person."Many advocates become disillusioned by the influence they can assert toward these people and others and by the power that they can inevitably achieve, that they forget the main point of advocacy in the first place: not to put themselves above others, but to elevate the situation of the voiceless and the less fortunate.

The metaphorically (and sometimes figuratively) bloody struggle against the trolls, the non-believers, and the apathetic. 

They are all over the internet, they have penetrated partners you go to for funding, they are in government offices, in your own organizations, and, worse, they are in your circle of friends and loved ones. These people will doubt you, will bash your ideologies, will laugh at you, will ask you to do something better with your life than wasting it - and sometimes risking it - for the sake of nameless and faceless men, women, and child. The ugly thing about advocacy is that it sometimes alienate you from people who can't appreciate the work you do. 

There will also be oppositions to the work you do. In the RH advocacy, several of my colleagues are being called less-than-pleasant names - abortionist, spawn of Satan, promiscuous. My favorite so far is puta. It happens, and it's ugly because fighting for what you believe in means stepping on some toes, and pissing off a lot of people. The verbal biatch slap wars are not the end of it. Somethings things get physical. It's a sad, sad thing. We always hope that rational discussions would suffice and fist fights would be kept out of the advocacy arena, but not every advocate is a smart one. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The question, though, is whether or not you should choose to continue with being an advocate (or pursue it in the first place) now that you know there is an ugly side to it. Like I said: not all fun and games and sunshine and kisses. There will always be greed, selfishness, narcissism, and the constant struggle for power. 

My answer is this: yes. The pros of being an advocate will always outweigh its ugly side. The opportunity to speak out about your beliefs, to work toward what you believe to be good, and to serve the people are in the forefront of priorities. Also, if we are to examine closely, the ugly face of advocacy are the challenges that are worth conquering. 

I say bring it.