When you really ought to finally say FTS

"You don't know what you've got till it's gone"... But the truth is, "You knew exactly what you had; you just thought you would never lose it"...#realtalk
-A Facebook status posted by Mel Orosco


Admit it: We poor humans have the tendency to cling hard to relationships or the routines we have established, that when the shit hits the fan, we still stay, paralyzed and dumbfounded, for the spray of crap to hit us in the face.
Excuse the stomach-turning metaphor.

The point: there comes a time in every person’s life that he or she must say goodbye to what he or she is used to, for the purpose of experiencing enlightenment and finding what better things you could be do in life… or simply to keep ourselves going psycho and being shut in the loony bin.

Some people prefer goodbyes. That’s okay. In fact, that’s great. Leaving a part of us behind is hard enough already. Although, honestly, I prefer to say, “Fuck this shit.” The difference: Saying goodbye is often limited by physical detachment from the person or situation that is sincerely screwing up your life. FTS is a philosophy of physical and psychological detachment. You cut it out of your system, you stop giving their opinions of you any worth, and you rehabilitate whatever is left of yourself. Sometimes the FTS principle would require that you declare that cause of the screw-up a persona non grata for the period of not less than six months. Sometimes forever.
In other words, the FTS principle is similar to saying good bye, moving on AND getting life back on track by ceasing to give a rat’s ass at the offending party’s existence, so you can finally focus on yours.

Your value as a person depreciates, and you end up turning to depressive tendencies and even possible suicidal ideations that you never deserved.


The trust and the love we give to people who treat us as shit is undeserved.
An ex-boyfriend used to tell me that he is smarter, better, more worthy of the attention of listeners, more well-opinionated on the affairs of the world than I was. That time, I was an undergrad at a small college in Pasay, with not much academic achievement to slap on his 28-year old face. He would always reiterate that I was “just” a kid in Nursing school, whereas he was a something-or-the-other in a company in Makati, was a graduate of one of the top four universities which was recently bashed online by a kid, AND was taking his master’s degree in a pretty well-known state University in Manila (and no, it is NOT UP). Then he cheated. Then I tried to make it work. Yes, in that order.

Regardless of the efforts the relationship blew up, and I was left doubting my intellect, and my value as a woman, and as a person. Which is saying something, as I am the type of person who generally didn’t care about other people’s opinions. I knew who I was and what I was capable of, but when it’s a person whom you loved and trusted that would spit on your face, it is another matter. And thus, the ensuing drama.

When realization finally hit, I promptly told myself, “Fuck this shit” and went on with life.

Not all people are as blatant as my ex, however, and sometimes, these people would torch your arse when you are conveniently looking the other way.

The good thing: you eventually find out that the smiles and the civility are all products of our society’s feigned politeness, that behind cupped hands, they bash you to bits, degrading and defaming everything about you from your Divisoria-bought clothes, to how you completely fail their standards of being a human being worthy of respect.

Moral lesson: Some people screw you over. Don’t waste your time on them.

You see no future, no growth, and no other reason to stay in your hell-hole of a relationship or situation, except your Bella Swan-like obsession to cling to a positively self-destructive state. This, despite spending countless hours and massive efforts trying to make the situation work and hoping that you will eventually get something positive to at least neutralize the situation.

Have your goals set, abstract or tangible. Are you achieving them? Are you getting at least one?



If by staying in a relationship or position, you will rot and you will never ever again experience anything that could make your life and/or your character better, or you would be stagnant for months and years that you could have otherwise spent on doing something productive, then leave.

No ifs. No buts. No excuses. Just leave before you and your dreams rot.

You find that it takes a gargantuan force of will to get out of bed in the morning and to re-experience everything again.

Translation: You have lost the biggest motivation of why we humans do what we do and really last at it – happiness.



You don’t just say FTS. It’s not something that your mouth should let go off easily. When you finally do so, it is with the conviction, the promise, to cut the drama out and live your life as a much better person, to run after the growth and happiness you deserve that were sacrificed during the days of useless stagnation and dwelling in despair. It means that you are willing to let go of the self-destructive routines, the things and the people that, in some ironic and morbid way, have become part of your comfort zone and thus might be hard to leave behind.

It means, to quote a cliché, taking a fucking leap of fate. And that takes guts and balls.

Don’t worry though. If you’re scared, I am too. We’re not the only ones. And if you want, I can hold your hand and we can take the leap together.#



AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have a perfectly happy love life that I am not willing to let go of forever, although there are other things that I am almost ready to say FTS to. Also, pictures in this post came up when I was looking through Google. I did not make any of them, nor am I claiming them as my own.