Dear Jani

 

My last message to you was that I won’t sleep until I hear from you. I never did, so now, my heart and my soul are restless. I haven’t stopped crying since yesterday, Jani. I miss you so much. Even as I write this, the tears won’t stop.

When your sister called me to tell me you’re gone, the first thing I did was to attend a book review as part of my work. I think I was able to adequately articulate my thoughts. I shared similar sentiments on the National Security Policy and the National Security Strategy with other analysts and researchers. I was productive. This has been my coping mechanism towards devastating news, even before: compartmentalize it to remain functional… until all the emotions come, screaming and weeping, and inevitable, like a flood of water destroying what flimsy walls I erected to contain it.

Yesterday, when I finally saw you after this goddamn pandemic has kept us apart from more than a year, those walls shattered almost instantly. Heaven took away your pain and your anxiety, but it also took my heart and left me with a throbbing emptiness I doubt anything can fill. It does not long for comfort or compensation or glory or success. It does not care for the people who are expressing their condolences or love for me. I am thankful, but those are not you. This emptiness longs only for you. I am self -aware enough to admit that it is selfish but I’m longing for you. I would rather have you here, despite the many challenges of your health, than with you gone. 

September 2021 is a cruel month. We both began it with challenges to our mortality – you with your health emergency and me with COVID-19. I was trapped in the four walls of my room, unable to be with you. I relied on your family’s updates. I was spared from seeing your decline, but I was tortured by my helplessness. Even after my 14-day quarantine, I was still trapped here because of severe asthma. The day I was finally feeling better – 28 September 2021 – you left me. I can never forgive myself for not being there with you on your last days. I may even come to hate the world for it.

People say that you’re lucky to have me. Maybe because you were sick and I wasn’t. But what people don’t see is that you loved me to the very extent of how much you can love. That you gave me everything that you can, to the best that you can. That we talked every night even when speaking is difficult for you, even if it’s just an exchange of good nights and I love yous. Even if to just tell me “bukas nalang ulit”. That you shared your blessings with me and thought of my happiness when receiving gifts, even if you had so little for yourself. That you were proud of me, and I basked in your pride, because no one’s ever been proud of me the way you were. That whenever I was having crippling self-doubt, exhausted with schooling, exhausted with work, exhausted with life, you’re the one who pushed me and encouraged me and believed in me. Others only saw the accomplishment, the speeches, the awards. You saw the struggle, the sacrifice. You told me to rest when everyone else wanted me to hustle. Right now, I am in the middle of my masters, which you encouraged me to take despite us having less time and money because of it. You’re the one who sacrificed the most for me to get this far and I won’t even be able to celebrate it with you when I’m done.

People say that because I’m the nurse and the healthier one, I took good care of you. But you’ve taken care of my heart – the most fragile and and the most broken and the weakest part of me – better than any other person in my past. In fact, it took more than a year of being together for me to tell you that I loved you, and you said those words first. I was so afraid you didn’t feel the same way. I was so happy you did. I hope you knew this before you left – that by loving me the way you did, you’ve taken care of me in the way no one else has. With you, I can be weak, because, despite your sickness, you were so strong.

I told you when we first started talking on the phone that I hated good byes, which was by we only ever said goodnight. For almost 3 years, I said that to you every night. Even when I was able to finally see you and touch you one last time, when they opened your coffin, I still couldn’t say good bye to you. Because maybe somewhere, someplace, I’ll get to see you again.

Our song is The Ditch by David Hause. Your Top 1 song in 2019. We both know what it’s about: living with “shakes”, the anxiety which you experienced on a daily basis:

“'Cause I shake shake shake shake alone
I'm shaking every night and day
Will my shake, shake, shaking ever go away?”

 

 These lines from the song are precious to me:

 

“If you held me close and lock the door
We could kick against the current
And hope we find a shore”

            I’ve held you close for almost three years and we’ve survived this current together until you had to go. You’ve finally found a shore where there are no more “shakes” and no more pain. You’re finally able to rest. I’ll be treading these currents without your warmth for a bit, Jani. Pahinga ka ng mabuti. Bukas nalang ulit, kung kelan man ang bukas natin ulit.

I miss you so much.

I love you. I love you. I love you so much.

 

 

 

A Month-Long Affair with Health Issues

It’s September 26, 2021 and for the first time in 26 days, I feel comfortable. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way. You see, on the final stretch of August 2021, I was exposed to someone who turned out to be COVID-positive. A Reverse Transcription Polymerase Chain Reaction (RT-PCR) Test showed that I was finally suffering from what I have been dreading for more than a year: I was COVID-positive. It didn’t help that at the tail-end of the quarantine, I developed severe asthma, which I’m still dealing with at the moment.

I’m documenting my experience through this blog as a celebration of surviving this infection, despite the fact that I have a co-morbidity (#asthmastories are something you can definitely find in this blog). I also hope that by putting this down on (digital) paper, I’ll be able to help someone like me in the future.

 

Let’s get this out of the way: VACCINES. WORK.. Prior to getting infected, I had already completed my two doses of Sinovac[1]. Can you get COVID-19 despite being vaccinated? Depends on the vaccine. I certainly did. Nevertheless, the vaccine most likely saved my life. The Department of Health relates that the Sinovac is 5-% effective in preventing mild symptoms, 78% effective against moderate symptoms, and 100% effective against severe symptoms. What Sinovac decreases is the risk of developing more severe – and fatal – COVID symptoms. As someone with asthma, this was what I was most afraid of. During my stint as part of the statistic, I only suffered mild COVID symptoms: body pain and headache were most persistent, some cough and colds, and fatigue, which, to be honest was the most challenging part. Other vaccines have different mechanisms of action, so check out what kind of protection you got… from legitimate sources only, please.

 

Home quarantine is effective if you and your family have the right mindset, the right facility, and the right equipment. Fortunately, I only experienced very mind symptoms (albeit it got a bit worse as the infection progressed). I was advised to do home quarantine instead. Being the paranoid Registered Nurse that I am, I was already doing self-quarantine that I was exposed to somebody who turned out positive. Here are some realizations:

You need to speak to your family clearly, coherently, and calmly about your status so that they can support you while you are on isolation and protect themselves for the disease. I’m infinitely grateful to my mom and my adopted brother who understood that I needed to physically distance myself from them and that I could not leave my room for the duration of the quarantine. They prepared all my meals and snacks, provided me with my daily supply of water, asked about my condition several times a day (we talked through FB messenger), and basically provided for all my basic needs. At the same time, I took it upon myself to be compliant with all the medications I needed to take, take my temperature and oxygen saturation religiously, and make progress report of all my symptoms throughout the isolation period. I also regularly contacted the contact tracer assigned to me regarding my symptoms.

It is important, however, to know that home quarantine is actually a luxury. There are only 3 people in our house. My adopted brother’s room is not even inside the main house. My mom and I had separate rooms and we had two bathrooms. Plus, I had boxes of surgical masks, literally liters of alcohol and hand sanitizers, several spray bottles Lysol, a pulse oximeter (#SalamatShopee), a stethoscope, a thermometer, and the window in my room is actually a sliding door which opens to a small lanai, so the ventilation is pretty good. Not everyone has my kind of setup. Some families only have one-room houses, making home isolation impossible. This is why more facilities conducive for rest and recuperation should be available even to patients with mild cases of COVID-19.

For a more clear-cut guideline of managing COVID-19 at home, check out this online brochure my Makati Medical Center: https://www.makatimed.net.ph/promos-and-events/event/home-quarantine-instructions-for-covid19-confirmed-patients-and-their-contacts

 

You have to be your own health advocate. If you’ve been following my journey, you’ll know that I’ve been in the health advocacy since the early 2010s. My niche, of course, has always been sexual and reproductive health and rights. Healthcare workers, especially nurses, are expected to advocate for patients, but really the best advocate for the patient is the patient. COVID-19’s symptoms may range from mild to severe and, if you’re not lucky enough to dodge the bullet, you may be lucky enough to dodge more life-threatening manifestations of the infection. Regardless of severity, the fact is that you are still sick, and your body is doing its best to fight of an infection that has killed millions worldwide. Help it, for goodness sakes. It’s important to rest, eat well, monitor yourself, and generally put yourself first. If you’re in government and you have COVID-19, please take note that you have the right to excused absence for the duration of your quarantine and/or treatment. Note that excused absence means “period when government personnel are not required to report for work (required quarantine and/or treatment, and work suspension), but are entitled to pay, as declared by the President or the appropriate and competent authorities”[2]. If you’re in the private sector, talk to your supervisor and/or your human resource officer regarding similar mechanisms of support. There should be one instituted, and if there isn’t, it’s time you lobby for such policy to exist.

            I did not make use of my excused leave. I was working from home even prior to the diagnosis. (Newsflash, by the way: the only people who think that those who are working from home aren’t working are most likely the ones aren’t working while they’re supposed to.) I worked despite the headache, body pain, fatigue, and all other symptoms. I went on overtime and did work on weekends. I powered through it. Two things: I was not alone in this predicament and this was not something to be proud of. By the end of my quarantine, which was September 14, 2021, I had developed severe asthma, which I am still managing with an apothecary of medications administered through half of my facial orifices.

            If you think I was smart enough to finally get some damn rest, then you over-estimate my intelligence, dear reader. I only stopped to take care of my health when I was already gasping for air while confined to my bed. That was stupid. Do not be like me. Self-care comes first.

COVID-19 has physical and mental repercussions. Oh boy. Here we go. My mental health has always been out of whack, although I’m glad to say it has significantly improved over the years. I’ve always been an introvert. I can go for months just hanging out in my room with very little physical contact with other people. I don’t even mind long stretches of silence from friends and family. However, the very nature of COVID-19 intimately intertwines the infection with isolation. It was though, to say the least

This year has been especially challenging: My grand uncle passed away in April this year, while his family desperately looked for a hospital that will admit him. We a close family friend to the infection as well, and my godmother to Cancer.

 We also lost almost all of our dogs this year: Jamjam, Panda, Theo, Mocha, Chuchay, Burrito, Liit, Orange, Lenlen, and Choco. Theo, Liit, and Choco’s deaths were the most devastating to me. Choco was the only one I had with me physically during my isolation. Amidst physical and mental anguish, Choco was the one I had, physically. I derived all my laughter and warmth from him. He died a few days after I was “released” from quarantine, but I was too sick with asthma at that point that I couldn’t even do anything for him. I’m still dealing with the pain guilt, and hurt at this point. They say pets die to save their hoomans from pain and suffering. My body may be healing, but I don’t think my heart will.  

            I really appreciate the small gestures of kindness: messages from my colleagues who were also sick with the virus, packages of food and medicine from my sister-in-law and our other close family friends, requests for updates from my best friends from different parts of the world, understanding from my professional organization of my need to just step back, and the many others who told me to get some rest and wished for me to get better. To be honest, I was unable to respond well to these people, especially after Choco’s death, because I was - and still am - physically and emotionally exhausted, but these really did make a difference. If you’re reading this, thank you. You’ve made this near-month-long ordeal a bit more bearable.

 

COVID-19, regardless of severity, affects you physically and mentally. It takes a toll on your resources. It endangers and adds additional burden to your loved ones. I hope no one else will have to deal with this disease, but this is an unrealistic wish. We are far from controlling this pandemic. The truth is, many more will get sick and many more will most likely die. For you, who is reading this little rant, let us take care each other, but take care of yourself more. Be kind to one another, but remember to be kind to yourself more. I hope to see you on the other side.

---

[1]Department of Health (n.d.) FAQs on CORONAVAC (SINOVAC) COVID-19 Vaccine- English. Retrieved https://doh.gov.ph/node/29361

[2]Civil Service Commission (2020). Memorandum Circular No. 08, s.2020. “Revised Interim Guidelines on the Use of Leave Credits for Absences Due to Quarantine and/or Treatment Relative to the Coronavirus Disease-2019 (COVID-19)”. Retrieved: http://www.csc.gov.ph/phocadownload/MC2020/MC%20No.%2008,%20s.%202020.pdf

I wish I can say this is all just a bad joke

 

It has been years since I posted in this blog, and to be perfectly honest, I never thought I would go back to writing for myself because I’ve been so busy writing for others (it’s the job, after all). Things have changed so much since I last made a blogpost and the biggest change of all is that it’s 2021 and we’re in the midst of a global pandemic that turned everyone’s life upside down.

It’s been about a year since COVID-19 hit the Philippines, and as of March 2021, Manila and a bunch of other places including Bulacan, Cavite, and Laguna, now called NCR+, are back on lockdown. Enhanced Community Quarantine, they call it, one of the many CQ qualification we’re placed under depending on how bad the numbers are. It got really bad this month. The worst. Recently, we hit about 10,000 new cases a day, the highest so far. On Facebook posts by news agencies which reported these numbers, it’s a combination of fear, frustration, and fucking COVID denialists. In real life, I see people flopping around like fish out of water, not knowing what to do, even if we have all the available models and studies and resources that tell us what we should be doing. I suppose some people think that this this global health crisis that already claimed hundreds and thousands of lives will resolve itself eventually. It’s a stupid strategy, but what do I know. It would be funny if it isn’t so terrifying.

I guess I am writing this in the hopes that one day, I’ll get back to it, laugh and say how fucked up the 2020 and 2021 were, then proceed to shoot down with the zombies moaning for brains outside my fortified house. Sorry guys, I only got despair to share. If I ever had readers, most of them will know that I often write articles peppered with facts and figures. Admittedly, I was less skilled at citations when I was a younger blogger, but I like well-constructed content. I don’t think I have the energy or emotional stability to go into such level of academic writing. Maybe later, if there is a later. I am just here for the comfort that writing has always given me.

You see, this week, I found out that my great uncle, my Amah’s brother, was having flu-like symptoms and difficulty breathing. He was around 80 years old and living with his wife in Cavite. His daughter and her daughters live next door. Mom showed me pictures of him using an oxygen tank and a pulse oximeter.  They were able to get in touch with a doctor but they could only manage his illness at home. For days, they searched for hospitals to admit my uncle but failed. They did a swab test but as of this writing the results haven’t come out yet. It may be just an ordinary flu, I said, but given his age, he should still be monitored closely especially because he was having trouble breathing.

Last night, after talking with my friend whose uncle is at a very similar situation, mom called from her room. She had been chatting with another of my great uncle’s daughter. They called an ambulance for him and practically hospital hopped, looking for somewhere that will accept him. I heard the words “40% oxygen” and “revive” and I knew, as a nurse, that it was over. The part of me that could not be protected by my clinical training and rationality felt like it was stabbed with something cold and poisonous. I stuttered as I explained to mom what those words meant. I told her he could probably be revived, but that the efforts could also fail. My mom, who only allowed herself to cry a handful of tears when my Amah, my Tita Jean (her sister), and my Papa died, was quick to snap back after my explanation. She knew her place in the family. She knew that her strength was needed. We were met with the worst news within the hour. My great uncle was gone. I am writing this on April Fools and I wish I can say this is all just a bad joke. 

My family and I are no strangers to death. We’ve lost loved ones, with my Papa being my most devastating loss. But it’s much more different now. We can’t even comfort each other physically or say good bye to our great uncle properly. In the face of a global health crisis, we need to put physical health as a priority over the process of grieving and healing as a family.

I do not blame the hospitals and the healthcare workers. I’ve been working on a paper on frontliners amidst the pandemic and even if I no longer serve in the clinical area, at a shallow, academic level, I understand their struggles. An overwhelmed healthcare system and an exhausted health human resource cannot render the same level of care consistently, for almost a year, without reprieve. I was talking a doctor friend and her words, “isang taon ng pagod” (exhausted for one year) summarize the situation. I know hospitals are in full capacity. I know healthcare workers are tired. I wrote the very same lines just a couple of days ago with flourish, the final addition to my paper. I know that both COVID and non-COVID patients are struggling to access medical care. But it’s different when it hits closer to home. It's raw and  it bleeds, and you can taste the bile in your mouth. Your voice cracks when you speak. Your eyes sting with tears. The desperation is real and your chest feels like like it's being crushed.

At this point, I really don’t have anything smart to say. I haven’t got the data to share or citations to make. I may do so, once I’m in a better state of mind. Once I am no longer holding back the tears. I will just repeat what I’ve also told my family, while wearing my façade of clinical coldness and rationality: The best thing we can do is to keep ourselves and our families safe and healthy. Let us make it our personal responsibility. Let us take it upon ourselves to help end this pandemic, not even for grand aspirations like patriotism (although that is great too), but for the protection of the people we love.

See you on the other side.

Personal Statement for the Senate Committees Hearing on Senate Bills for Electronic Violence Against Women and Gender Based Electronic Violence

I was invited to sit as a resource person during the Senate Committee hearing on Gender Based Electronic Violence (GBEV) and Electronic Violence Against Women (E-VAW) last 23 August 2017. For the event, I was asked to prepare a personal statement as well as a position paper the Philippine Society of SRH Nurses Inc. I opted read the position paper we prepared so I am sharing with you herevmy personal statement regarding gender based violence online:

"Honorable Senators, Secretaries and staff of the Committee on Women, Children, Family Relations and Gender Equality, and the Committee on Science and Technology, fellow advocates, and most especially survivors, good morning. I am Janina Gillian O. Santos, a registered nurse and a member of the Philippine Society of SRH Nurses, Inc. Let me tell you a story of a girl who began a sexual relationship with a boy. Like the familiar tale, the girl fell in love and guy did not. She did her best to make him happy anyway. It is one of the oldest stories in the book. He was a budding photographer, a teacher in a small school for rich children in the South, a volunteer of organizations promoting rational thinking especially among young people. He is currently married to a beautiful, accomplished woman. He was, in other words, not the kind of person one would expect to exhibit blatant disrespect and cruelty. On Valentines Day in 2015, this man leaked photos of the girl performing intimate acts on him. Part of her face was visible, despite the low lighting. His was not.  The photos were taken with her consent and trust that it will be for his eyes only.  This man posted her photos in his fake Facebook account, and it stayed up for three hours despite the girl’s constant plea for him to take it down. After three hours, several desperate calls and messages, comments about “valentines sex”, the man finally took the photos down. He apologized, saying that what happened was an accident.

It may indeed be an accident, or it may have been something more malicious. Nevertheless, the girl suffered significant psychological damage, going through a period of depression, suicidal ideation, and self harm. This is a story which I know to be true, which I have personal and intimate knowledge of. The effect of sexual violence on a victim is the same, regardless of what platform the sexual violence was committed.

The incidents of Gender Based Electronic Violence may not be perfectly recorded, but one only has to look in pages dubbed as “Hokage” to know that it is happening. Women’s photos being shared without consent has become a norm, has become normalized, that Facebook community pages were created for the sole purpose of men sexualizing photos posted without the consent of the owner.

Beyond the effect on the victim, Gender Based Electronic Violence has a chilling effect on Freedom of Speech online. Dissenting opinions are met, not with rational arguments, but with threats of rape and murder, either towards person whose opinions are different or towards this person’s loved ones. GBV has always been a tool for dominance, but when done online, the effect is compounded, because people with similar tendencies – to threaten someone with sexual violence to suppress them – feel free to act on it. I have experienced this, in my interactions online, when I question people’s victim blaming behaviour towards rape and sexual harassment victims, I am slut-shamed, with my morals as a woman questioned very publicly. I have seen others treated worse, those whose political opinions vary from the popular are promised rape and murder.

Stopping Gender Based Electronic Violence is a daunting task, because it has been normalized. It has cloaked itself with the mask of Free Speech without responsibility. The only way out for the victim is to disconnect, but with 30 million Filipinos online, can a victim really get away from the lasting effects of online violence?

As a woman, an advocate for women’s sexual health and rights, and as someone who has, time and again, been subjected to threats and misogynistic comments thrown without remorse nor consideration, I am grateful that we are now talking about protecting women and our LGBT brothers and sisters from this pervasive problem."

Janina Gillian O. Santos RN, SRHN, FPSORHN 

Incorporator 

Philippine Society of SRH Nurses, Inc.

Position Paper on the Two Pending Senate Bills on Electronic Violence Against Women

Senate Committees on Women, Children, Family Relations and Gender Equality; and Science and Technology

August 23, 2017

The Philippine Society for SRH Nurses, Inc. (PSORHN) respectfully submits to the Senate Committees on Women, Children, Family Relations and Gender Equality; and Science and Technology this position paper which outlines the rationale for the support of the Society for the pending bills intended for penalizing violence against women and the LGBTQ online.

PSORHN recognizes the following:

1. Violence Againt Women and the LGBTQ online is an issue of health, due to the mental anguish experienced by victims. Several months ago, a woman in a casual sexual relationship consulted the Society. Her partner uploaded some of her photos in intimate positions on the man’s fake Facebook account. Her face was shrouded in darkness, but discerible to those who know her. Despite begging through text, call, and Messenger, the said photos were only taken down after three hours. Within that time, the photo had already gained views and comments. The man apologized. The woman reported experiencing depression and suicidal ideation. She also indulged in self harm. These symptoms are parallel to the psychological symptoms experieced by victims of sexual violence outside cyberspace.

2. Violence Againt Women and the LGBTQ online is an impediment to gender equality, as violence is used to silence women and the LGBTQ by blocking their access to ICT use and freedom of expression. People’s full use of freedom of expression online has become a standard in cyberspace. With the rapid progress of ICT, people’s voices online have become catalysts for broader social movements. The powers to mobilize and bring about change through social media have been proven time and again. Violence Against Women and the LGBTQ is a means to silence the voice the marginalized. Because of threats of sexual violence and physical harm, harassment, misogyny, and homophobia, these marginalized sectors have no other recourse but retreat from the social media sphere, losing a powerful platform of expression. Violence Against Women and the LGBTQ is an impediment not simply to freedom of expression, but the right of women and the LGBTQ to participate in discourse that may set in motion significant positive social change.

3. Violence Against Women and the LGBTQ normalizes violence against women and LGBTQ, as cyberspace becomes a safe space for people to harass, sexualize, and threaten people with very little repercussion due to the identified policy gaps of the proponents of the bills penalizing online violence. Should such law be passed, it will not only extend judicial protection over victims, but act as a deterrent to future perpetrators.

            Given such truths, PSORHN supports the crafting and passage of a law penalizing Violence Againt Women and the LGBTQ and respectfully recommends the body adopts the term “Gender Based Electronic Violence” (GBEV) as opposed to Electronic Violence Against Women (E-VAW). GBEV, as defined in Senate Bill 1251, includes LGBTQ along with women as end users of the legislation. On the other hand, it is observed that Senate Bill 180 expands the Anti VAWC Law to cyberspace, the bill limits protection to women who has had sexual or dating relationships with their abusers, and the children of these women.  As LGBTQ is often at the receiving end of harassment, threats, and homophobia online, the same legal protection must be extended to them.

Janina Gillian O. Santos, RN, SRHN, FPSORHN

Incorporator

Philippine Society of SRH Nurses, Inc.

Your Sexual Rights Online: Legislation for Safe Online Space

Brave Women. Invigorated to continue fighting for safety and security of women online and offline by the presence of these two courageous ladies - Jessica, a fellow resource person for the Senate Committee Hearing for Gender Based Electronic Violence, and Senator Risa Hontiveros, staunch advocate for women's rights.

Even before I perused the United Nations Human Rights document on Rights to Privacy online,  I've already heard of the phrase,  "our rights offline is our rights online" from friends in the Information Communication Technology advocacy, particularly from Democracy.net.ph. This is true especially in the discourse of gender based violence - we are supposed to be protected online as well as offline. Ideally.

The incidents related to the Facebook pages called "Hokage" and "Pastor", popularized and further exposed by the page Catcalled in the Philippines,  tell us otherwise.  The experience of the young girls who spoke against the Marcos burial only to be met by threats of rape and murder is evidence against this ideal.  The vitriol the LGBT community receives online when there are talks of same sex marriage or gender affirming interventions, such as in the case of Jake Zyrus,  is a manifestation of homophobia. My own experience as a woman and an advocate against rape culture have also exposed me to some traumatizing experiences online,  the mildest of which were comments on my alleged propensity to go out with whichever guy happens to be in the area, just because I insisted that consent to go somewhere (even if it is a motel) is not consent for sex.

Our rights offline are our rights online,  perhaps because the violation of our rights online has severe consequences beyond cyberspace. Sexual violence offline causes significant psychological trauma to people.  Depression,  self harm, nightmares, and suicide are just some of the symptoms experienced by victims. The same mental anguish can be observed in victims of online sexual harassment. One of the victims reported feeling depressed, having suicidal thoughts, and engaging in self harm. Her intimate photos on Facebook may have already been deleted, but not the scar on her left wrist. The violation, whether done offline and online, has the same effect of mental, emotional, and psychological anguish for victims. 

It was these recent events and out personal experiences that led me and two other fierce, intelligent, and beautiful women to start speaking out against sexual violence online, and when the opportunity to do more impact by telling our stories in aid of legislation, Doc Tess Termulo and Ate Christene dela Cruz made sure that out voices will be heard. This was only a prelude. "Something wicked this way comes," but that is another story for another day. 

We received an invitation to meet with the staff of Senator Risa Hontiveros, the proponent of the Tres Marias bills which aimed to strengthen the existing rape law, introduce peer-to-peer sexual harassment, and prosecute online violence against women and the LGBT. We were also invited as resource persons during the hearing of the Senate Committees on Women, Children, Family Relations and Gender Equality; and Science and Technology for a public hearing on the said bill. I was invited as one of victims of online harassment, as well as incorporator of the Philippine Society of SRH Nurses, Inc. As a resource person, I was tasked to prepare a position paper for the Society, as well as a personal statement. Both of these will be published in subsequent blogpost. 

This engagement opens up a whole new avenue on protecting our sexual rights online, which something every netizen should look forward to.

Two bills concerning online violence are in deliberation. 

Senator Hontiveros's proposed "Gender-based Electronic Violence Act of 2016” is an amalgamation of Senator Binay's expansion of VAW to cyberspace and the reality than the LGBT is also a constant target of online violence. In this bill, gender-based electronic violence (GBEV) is defined as, "an offense refers to any acts or omissions involving the use or exploitation of ephemeral data or any form of information and communications technology (ICT) which causes or is likely to cause mental, emotional, or psychological distress or suffering to the female victim or Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer (LGBTQ) victim, and tending to disparage the dignity and personhood of the same on account of his or her gender, including but not limited to: 

In 2013, Senator Nancy Binay filed the proposed Electronic Violence Against Women (E-VAW) Law of 2013, which aimed to expand the coverage of the existing Anti Violence Against Women and Their Children Act (RA9262) to cyberspace. While an excellent proposal due to the proliferation of revenge porn cases - where intimate partners upload, the E-VAW bill still only covers women who were violated by people who they have sexual or dating relationships with. The bill, therefore, does not encompass online violence committed by persons who have no relation to the victim - such as in the case of the girl who protested against Marcos or those men who kept sharing women's photos with lewd comments. 

1. Unauthorized recording, reproduction or distribution of videos showing the victim’s naked or undergarment-clad genitals, public area, buttocks or breasts; 

2. Uploading or sharing without the consent of the victim, any form of media that contain pictures, voice or video of the victim with lewd, indecent, obscene or sexual content: 

3. Harassing or threatening the victim through text messaging, obscene, misogynistic, homophobic or indecent posts in social media sites, or other cyber, electronic or multimedia means; 

4. Cyber-stalking which includes, but is not limited to the hacking of personal accounts on social networking sites, the use of location trackers on cellular devices; and 

5. Unauthorized use of the victim’s picture, video, voice, name or any other aspect of the victim’s identity and distributing the same in any video game, phone application, program and the like, which deliberately exposes the victim to harassment and attack and puts or tends to put the victim in a bad light or injure the victim’s reputation."


The innovations of these bills filed by Senators Binay and Hontiveros serve as responses to the changing times and the dynamic challenge of preventing and persecuting gender based violence. I, for one, am excited to see this landmark bill become law.# 

Youth Solutions Forum: Capacitating Young People for Sustainable Development

It was a rainy morning when I made my way to Ateneo University. It was July 29, the day of the Youth Solutions Forum, an event organized by the United Nations SustainableDevelopment Solutions Network Youth - Philippines. With the encouragement of my colleagues and friends, particularly the always-supportive Kevin of the Forum for FamilyPlanning and Development Inc., I submitted my application and represented the Philippine Society of SRH Nurses, Inc. during the forum.

The event was attended by other youth leaders, perhaps no older than I was when I started in the advocacy. It was so nice to see so many young people gathering together to talk about sustainable development. In 2015, the Philippines committed itself to the realization of the United Nations Sustainable DevelopmentGoals, a conglomeration of 17 interdependent goals geared towards inclusive growth and development. Since then those who have advocated for the Millennium Development Goals have also been working towards the SDG, joined by new blood, bringing with them the tech-savvy and invigorating creativity of Millennials. I only say "new blood", by the way, because I am much older than a lot of the attendees. 

The event kicked off with an inspiring presentation by Usec Philip Dy of the Office of the Vice President of the Philippines. He delivered a presentation on behalf of VP Leni Robredo, the “Laylayan” Economy. Taking the tagline of the SDG, “Leave No One Behind”, the Office of the VP has partnered with various sectors to bring much needed help to the Geographically Isolated and Depressed Areas (GIDAs). “We cannot talk about sustainable development without youth involvement,” the Vice President emphasized, highlighting the importance of young people in the movement towards inclusive prosperity. The VP was explicit on the responsibility of young leaders: “Great leaders are all powerful advocates, fighting for things bigger than themselves”. She also shares an important concept in helping people effectively: “Listen with empathy… Empathy makes you ask powerful questions… A little empathy can go a long way to help those in the margins” – a simple first step for any young person who wants to help in the movement towards sustainable development, and a reminder for any seasoned advocate to always go back to why they are fighting for what they are fighting for.

Plenary session 2.1 was a briefer on what sustainable development actually is. Dr. Rosario Ofreneo of the UP Social Work and Development gave a simple definition of SD: “We who came ahead should be able to leave behind a world you can live in.” This is consistent with the Bruntland Report definition: "Sustainable development is development that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs” Dr. Ofreneo also shared the United Nation’s 5 dimensions of sustainable development, which are the basis of the SDG: People, Planet, Prosperity, Partnership, and Peace.  To me, the most important takeaway from Dr. Ofreneo’s presentation was that sustainable development requires institutional and structural changes. This, I think, is heavily linked to the integration of sustainable development goals to the Philippine Development Plan 2017-2022 and the long term aspiration of Ambisyon Natin 2040. For plenary session 2.2, this was discussed by Ms. Girlie Grace Casimiro of the National Economic Development Authority, the head agency for the Philippines’ commitment to SDG. During the briefing, she showed the strategy framework of the PDP 2017-2022, and how the SDGs were embedded in it. She highlighted that the agency will be pushing to do the same for the subsequent PDPs in order to realize Ambisyon Natin 2040:  “matatag, maginhawa, at panatag na buhay.”

PDP 2017-2022 Framework shown with the SDGs embedded.

The final plenary session was delivered by a familiar face in the sexual and reproductive health advocacy, Commissioner Perci Cendana of the National Youth Commission, who pointed out two of the most pressing health challenges in young people – the rising numbers of HIV and teen pregnancy. Commissioner Cendana reminded young people of the basics of rights-based approach: that the government is the duty bearer while the youth are rights holder. However, he also encouraged young people to be more proactive and take a duty bearer role in their development.

In the afternoon, the participants joined different breakout sessions depending on their interest. Naturally, I gravitated towards health – after a bit of screw-up with my application, that is. Totally my fault, and I’d like to thank the people at SDSN-Youth for letting me join the session which I really wanted!

The first speaker was a familiar face – Dr. Joseph Singh from the UNFPA. He provided a briefer on the various health problems young people face. The trend was repeated: high rates of HIV and teen pregnancy. One of major problems, he mentioned, was the unmet need for family planning. “We cannot solve teen pregnancy with health interventions alone,” Dr. Singh emphasized. This reminded me of a lesson from my online class on women’s health and rights: that biomedical problems are not necessarily solved by just biomedical solutions. “When you are rights-based, you can’t go wrong.” Dr Singh reminded the young audience.

The final speaker for the day was Ms. Chi Vallido, of the Forum for Family Planning and Development, Inc. Her talk is a bit more personal for me, as she relayed the struggles of Reproductive Health Law advocates. It took more than 16 years for the country to have the RH Law, but even now it faces certain challenges, such as budget cuts and the TRO on contraceptives. It was a good lesson for all advocates: the fighting just doesn’t stop and it takes dedication and commitment to continue doing what we can for those who need it most.

The talks were followed by a quick workshop. I was, of course, grouped with other health care professionals. We explored problems related to health and came up with three challenges: the lack of enforcement of existing laws, the lack of focus on primary health care, and the lack of coordination among health care workers. It was an exhilarating mental exercise to be sure. I am also glad that my fellow International Youth Council member, Dexter Galban, was at the event. It was great way to flex the brain and fire up the neurons, to look at these problems from a biomedical perspective, but without disregarding the effects of politics and economy in health care.

The day was long and mentally stimulating (albeit exhausting) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am especially hopeful, after seeing so many young people come together to talk about the future we want – a future where prosperity is enjoyed by all, where race, gender, and economic status aren’t hindrance to justice, and where our children will still be able to enjoy the resources our planet provides.#

Not Paid to be Fondled: Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

She sits with the phone cradled between her cheek and her shoulder, her pen poised to take down notes. The line rings and rings and her mind speeds through the documents that need to be finished, the presentations that need to be finalized. Suddenly, from behind, someone touches her near the armpit, that unnamed place at the back that is only a few inches near the actual boob. Forgetting the call and disgusted by the misplaced boldness of whoever the offending hand belongs to, she turns around and sees one of the managers grinning at her. "If I touch you there," he asks, "can you go to the GAD office to complain?" Keeping her face blank, but allowing disgust to be plainly visible on the curl of her lips, she spats with as much venom as she can manage, "Yes sir." She then turns away from the manager.

In a perfect world, once told that what they do is offensive, people apologize and stop. Unfortunately, this world isn't exactly all fluff and decency is often scarce. Sexual harassment is tolerated, even encouraged, not just on the streets, but in school and at the workplace. So much for professional environments meant to foster personal and professional growth. 

Consent is sexy, ladies and gentlemen.

What is Sexual Harassment? 

Sexual harassment is primarily characterized as unwanted sexual behavior. It includes unwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other conduct sexual in nature. Sexual harassment can either be verbal, physical, or, in the advent of the internet, digital. So yes, sending inappropriate messages or pictures of your boobs and/or genitals are grounds for sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment can also happen at work and at school. According to Republic Act 7877 also known as the Anti-Sexual Harassment Act of 1995[1], work, education, or training-related sexual harassment is defined as, "committed by an employee, manager, supervisor, agent of employer, teacher, instructor, professor, coach, trainor, or any other person who, having authority, influence or moral ascendancy over another in a work or training or education environment demands, requests or otherwise requires any sexual favor from the other, regardless of whether the demand, request, or requirement for submission is accepted by the object of the said Act.” That’s a mouthful. But there’s more. RA 7877 also defines work-related sexual harassment as something that would result in an intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment for the employee. What does that mean? 

Intimidating, hostile, or offensive environment means that:

a. The sexual favor is used as a condition for employment, promotion, favorable compensation, terms, promotions and privileges, and refusing the demand for sexual favor means saying good bye to all of these;

b. Refusal to give in to the demand of sexual favor will impair all the employee's rights as protected by the law; and

c. The act of sexual harassment simply makes the workplace unbearable and uncomfortable.

One thing you have to know about sexual harassment: The person who determines whether he or she has been harassed is always the victim, not the perpetrator. 

What are the forms of sexual harassment?[2]

1. Physical. This includes malicious touching, overt sexual advances, and gestures with lewd insinuations. So yes, please do not touch your female co-worker's almost-boobs and ask if you will be liable for sexual harassment - you are.

2. Verbal. Which includes, but are not limited to, requests or demands for sexual favors, and lurid remarks.

3. Use of objects, pictures, graphics, letters, or written notes with sexual underpinnings. Digital media included. Here is the deal: Unless with the consent of the other party, no, they do not want you to send dickfies and boob pics. (Oh, and props to the guy who first mentioned the word dickfies to me.)


What can be done to address sexual harassment?

1. Craft policies directed towards the prevention of sexual harassment, protection of the victim, promotion of due process, and punishment of the perpetrator. As someone who works in policy, I believe that the change will emanate in policy. Policies localizes all existing laws into the context of whichever organization. Without policies the organization will most likely stumble blindly when faced with the issue. 

Here are some stuff that policy makers might want to consider:

     a. It is important to consult the end users. As Michelle Decker of the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health once said, "Practice is the ceiling of policy". This means that no matter what is written if it isn't realistic enough to be done, if it is too complicated, or if it is just a whole load of codswallop, then the policy will just be another waste of oxygen-producing trees. Consultation should include reps from the management (who will enforce policy) to the regular employees (who will most likely utilize the policy) to ensure that all is amenable to the provisions. This strategy - participatory decision-making - is essential for the people of the company to have a sense of ownership and thus a higher rate of compliance.

     b. Get an expert on board. You can't shanama policies. They must be based on facts,  a true understanding of the problem, as well as the organizational peculiarities that may affect the implementation and impact of the policy. That is what you have experts for. These experts can come from different sectors - government, non-government organizations, the academe, even the health sector. It may cost a little more, but unless you want a policy just for the sake of having one, getting an expert's thumbs up is essential.

2. Promote gender equality and equity in the workplace. Like many cases of sexual abuse, sexual harassment is most likely an expression of power, or simply the general respect lack of respect for other people. Gender equality and equity are built upon the foundation of respect for other people 's rights, specifically for a safe workplace and acceptable working conditions. Being groped while in the middle of a high tension meeting is NOT acceptable working conditions. And on the subject of equality and equity, it must be noted that while a significant number of cases are that of women, men experience sexual harassment too. Thus, whatever intervention and support system made available to women should also be accessible by men.  

3. Creation of safe space. A safe space is somewhere where a victim of sexual harassment can proceed to and talk about the problem at hand without fear for privacy, breach of confidentiality, and even violent repercussions. This means that there has to be a 1) physical set-up to protect the victim from both physical hard and secondary victimization [3] and 2) personnel who are trained to handle these cases. The latter does not only require being well-versed in the company's policy on sexual  harassment, but also RA 7877. The personnel manning the safe spaces must be able to provide correct information to whoever needs it and can be called upon to educate employees on sexual harassment. Equally important, they must be able to exhibit sensitivity when dealing with victims of sexual harassment to avoid secondary victimization.

4. Don't be the creepy douche. And this applies to all genders. Respect is really quite easy. Seriously, it's not cute when you get to close. And when you're "feeling close" enough to grope someone or brush their behinds or comment on their boobs, please keep in mind that the one receiving your "friendly gestures" may not thing the same... and you know what? It's what that person thinks and feels that counts, not yours.

5. Remember: Men are NOT the enemy. Can we not fight for our rights as women while loving our counterparts? Of course we can. Besides, we must remember that sexual violence happens to men too. This is why instead of going against our counterparts, we must do our best to work with them. We must educate men on their rights to be free from sexual harassment. We must make available to our men the same support system that is available to women. We must ensure that we approach men's sexual harassment issues with the same sensitivity that we can apply to women. Want to abolish sexual harassment in the workplace? In society in general? Work together, instead of working apart.



Sexual harassment is a symptom of a greater problem: the power struggle between the powerful and perceived weaker party, not simply men and women. To address the symptom, we must address the cause. This blogpost is actually going to come out during the 18 day campaign against Violence Against Women, but the work goes beyond this period to achieve a #VAWfreePhilippines, a GBV-free country, This is a long and somewhat uphill battle, ladies and gentlemen. And we can win it by working together.#



Footnotes 

[1]Anti-Sexual Harassment Act of 1995
[2] https://psa.gov.ph/content/q-sexual-harassment-cases
[3]Secondary victimization is defined as the negative social consequences experienced by the victims of sexual crimes

RC National Security Forum: Emerging Threats and Opportunities for Peace

On November 16, 2016, I spent a significant portion of my salary to run from my workplace in Manila (where I work as a self-proclaimed mermaid in Manila Bay) to Pasay, and then to Camp Aguinaldo, Quezon City. Along with a lost of money, I also kind of lost my inner peace. 

But let me tell you: I may have spewed out words so colorful that it would have made sailors blush, but braving the atrocious Manila traffic was so worth it.

I was fortunate enough to attend the Rotary International's National Security Forum, which was hosted by the Rotary Club of Holy Spirit, and held at the Civil Relations Service Multi-Purpose Hall. Various Rotary Club members, officers of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP), and civilians attended the event. Central to this gathering were the discussions on cybersecurity and the onging peace talks. The presentations were quite timely and relevant to the current atmosphere of national security. 

Here are, in my opinion, the highlights of the talks.:

"Status of Philippie Cybersecurity" by Pierre Tito Galla, PECE, Co-Founder and Co-Convenor, Democracy.net.ph 

The first topic of the evening is something that I have been (vehemently) advocating at work. Although I'm only as technically proficient as the next FB user, I think that we've seen enough sci-fi and action flicks to show us how much cyberattacks can screw up, well, everything. Engr. Pierre Tito Galla, co-founder and co-convenor of Democracy.net.ph, gave a quick run through of the fundamentals of cyberdefense and cybersecurity, as well as the various cases of cyberattacks, and enumerated the devastating effects of cyberattacks, which include damage to critical infrastructures, socioeconomic repercussions, and sociopolitical unrest, painting a realistic and terrifying picture, which left the audience dumbstruck. 

Amidst this discussion, half of my mental capacities were preoccupied with the importance of cybersecurity to national security in general. The other half was in bathing in the bitter reality of our current capability to protect our beloved motherland from cyberattacks (or the lack thereof), and that the only reason we don't have to go on full panic mode yet is the fact that our Internet sucks. Perhaps a proper metaphor is that  we're in deep, shark-infested waters, and all we can do is dog paddle. The good engineer put it in a much more eloquent manner, of course.

Since this topic requires a much longer discussion, I'll probably do a Part 2 of this blogpost. For now, if you, dear reader, are interested in the advocacies of Engr. Galla's group, you can check out their work at their website and follow their initiatives at their Facebook page.

"Challenges Facing Filipino Soldiers in the Renewed Negotiation for Peace" by Col Edgard A. Arevalo, Deputy Commander, Civil Relations Services, Armed Forces of the Philippines

Confession time: I very much admire the second speaker. Although I was only able to work with him for a short while during last year's Environmental Working Group, it was a joy to learn more about communication techniques just by listening to him. The second subject was presented by Col. Edgard A. Arevalo, Deputy Commander of the Civil Relations Services Armed Forces of the Philippines (CRS AFP). The talk zeroed in on the perspective of the AFP on the move of the government towards peace, particularly in dealing with the Communist Party of the Philippines, New People's Army, and the National Democratic Front (collectively called the CPP-NPA-NDF).

True to the hardcore legacy of the Philippine Marines, Col Arevalo began with these words: "I am a Filipino, a soldier, and I am ready to pay the price for peace, even if it means war." Needless to say, I was hooked. The Deputy Commander of the CRS then proceeded to discuss how the AFP is contributing to the peace process. Emphasis was placed on how the AFP is handling the ceasefire agreement with the CPP-NPA-CDF. Emphasized was placed on how the AFP, as a military institution, is completely supportive of the peace process but, in the words of the legendary Auror Alastor Moody, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" is always applied. Obedience, NOT blind obedience, from our military is required to ensure that the peace process does not fail. This means that the AFP monitors both the CPP-NPA-NDF and its men and women should there be any breach in the provisions of the ceasefire agreement. The AFP also continues to conduct civil military operations as part of its commitment to national progress, acting as a conduit and support for community development. This aspect ties in very nicely with the next talk.

For those who want to know more about what the CRS, check out their FB page to find out more about the cool stuff they do.

Speakers Col Arevalo and Engr. Galla with several ladies from the Rotary Club.

"DND's Roadmap Amidst the Prospects of a Conclusive Peace Talks" and "Updates on the GPH-NDF Peace Negotiations" by ASEC Teodoro Cirilo Torralba III, Plans and Programs, Office of the Secretary of Department of Defense

The final talk of the evening was delivered by ASEC Teodoro Cirilio Torralba, of the Plans and Programs of the Department of National Defense. He presented the Philippine Government's roadmap for the peace process, along with the progress we have been achieving. What is quite striking to me is that the roadmap's timeline is only for one year - no small feat, and, if achieved, a huge step to achieving lasting peace for the country. I am also quite happy with the the inclusion of socioeconomic reforms in order to develop vulnerable areas. In my opinion, this is an essential part of the peace process, as socioeconomic stability is essential to achieve peace, as well as sustain it. After all, one of the main catalysts for conflict is social inequality.

The Rotary Club's National Security Forum was a wonderful opportunity to learn and share insights on issues relevant to the lasting peace and sustainable development. Long story short: if there's ever another opportunity to attend another security forum by the RC, I'd love to participate. Manila traffic, bring it on.

Want to know more about the Rotary Club's advocacy for peace? Listen to them and their Subject Matter Expert in the radio show Rotary Hour, hosted by Col Gerardo Zamudio of the Philippine Airforce on DWDD 1134 kHz AM Katropa Radio.